Gramma Joyce

Sunday November 1, 1992

Nick rides shotgun as Ned drives with the game on just the front speakers. Irene, stretched out in the back seat solemnly working a crossword puzzle, had gotten a message while they were at home group and ended up talking to her older brother Steve for over an hour, more than they’d talked the past several years put together.

Trips to see his grandma Joyce were, to say the least, eventful, and somewhat rare; it was though she lived much further away. Nick remembers a couple of visits where Irene would go in first then signal Ned to bring in the boys after a few minutes. Over the years it became clear that Joyce usually started drinking as soon as her soaps were over, during the week of course, then on weekends it was a roll of the dice. 

Visits were also timed for when the younger brother Andrew was, well, maybe at the VA hospital, staying with a…friend, or just not around. Joyce didn’t keep phone numbers written down anywhere, or else would hide them too well to be of use, since Andy had the tendency to dial numbers and practice his improvisational skills. 

From what Nick could tell, Steve planned to make sure Andy was occupied today since he had concerns about Joyce becoming more forgetful than usual, as a mixed blessing, even seemingly forgetting to drink. Since her second husband Roger had died when Nick was a kid it seemed her life was all about dealing with Andy’s situation, hell, Andy pretty much is a situation in and of himself. 

They arrive and and slowly approach the windowless door of the small, plain peach-colored house with no eaves, just gutters on the front and back. The flowerbeds are overgrown and ridden with weeds soon to mercifully be euthanized by winter’s grip. Irene presses the doorbell but it doesn’t make a sound, at least that they can hear, so she knocks. After about twenty seconds, 

“Who’s there?”

“Mom it’s Irene, can we come in?”

Coughing, then, “Helene who?”

“Irene, mom, it’s your daughter.”

The door pops open, “Well hi there, oh you brought some boys.”

They proceed inside while the gals do all the talking and quickly realize there’s nowhere to sit down. Newspapers, magazines are piled everywhere and dirty dishes line he kitchen. The aroma of cigarette smoke is almost welcome compared to what it must be covering up. There is a well-worn recliner with an obviously broken footrest and covered by a dirty afghan. She had been watching something on the TV that’s pretty loud and Ned tries to discreetly shut it off,

“Oh shut that damn thing off so we can talk,” Joyce barks out in a stern manner but with friendly intentions.

Ned finds the power switch then looks around. 

“Do any of you want something to drink?” Joyce, short, stocky and graying, faces them in a glass-eyed haze and can’t seem to find any of them.

Irene covers them, “Oh we’re fine, Mom, we were out on a drive and thought we’d stop by.” 

“Oh ok, well see…oh, you’re Ned, so good to see you. And this is your boy?”

“This is Nick, our youngest,“ he confirms. 

“Hi Gramma, good to see you.”

“Oh, you’re getting so handsome, can I have a hug?”

Nick gives her a hug while trying to catch up with it all. She used to send cards on holidays but not birthdays.

“I bet you have a lot of girlfriends,” as she pokes him on the chest.

“Only the ones that can catch me,” which gets a coughing laugh. Oh my.

Irene jumps in and Ned taps Nick on the shoulder, and motions toward the door, as they were asked to take a look around the place. 

Once outside Ned starts, “You’re a soldier for coming along, you didn’t have to.”

“Just felt I should.”

“Well it’s going to be a rough road, she’s only in her sixties but I think you know how that goes.”

“Yeah.”

They turn the corner, “I guess Andy has these streaks and keeps up the place now and then, at least.”

“He’d need a few of those streaks back to back at this point.”

“Yeah, gonna need a new roof soon.”

They stop in the tundra-like back yard which hadn’t been mowed in a while, plain as day save for a rough rectangular patch about 20 by 30 feet, to which Ned points out, 

“I think ol’ Rog had a garden back here that never got seeded, just grew over like those damn flowerbeds.”

They head around the side toward the tiny single-car detached garage and lift up the door. Inside it is a ‘73 Maverick with four flat tires, an open trunk with various parts inside, and too much junk to walk around it. Nick gets the dark feeling there’s a stash of smutty magazines somewhere in here but would never have the nerve nor desire to find out.

“She used to drive that.”

“Would make a cool project.”

Ned laughs, “That’s the spirit.”

“Should we rescue Mom?”

Ned sighs “Let’s get at it.”

Back inside they find Irene showing Joyce a photo album and pointing out who everyone is. Nick takes one last look around and zeroes in on what he was subconsciously looking for, the photo that he’d only seen a few times of a young corporal, Thadeus Rutledge, one of the first to fall in Korea.

* * * * *

“So she’s just super hot?” Deej is lit up as can be.

“Yeah, Steve married her after, well, his first wife got pregnant and he wouldn’t have it.”

She makes a disgusted look.

“That’s a good chunk of why Mom doesn’t talk to him often, and just does his own thing, travels for work, all that.”

“So he remarried Debbie and she’s younger?”

“When we were little, around kindergarten he got to meet a local pageant winner and the rest is history.”

“Wow you had a day.”

Nick had the back seat on the quiet ride home after lunch with Steve and Debbie and was able to doze off then took Deej to Subway after a bike ride to clear his head some.

“Yeah, so it makes sense why Mom was always closer to Dad’s family since hers was…”

“And her younger brother, Andy, you used to talk about him?”

“Yeah probably in a mean way, he was at the VFW. I guess they won’t sell him booze, he has to win drinks at pool or such.”

“Wow.”

“The place is not being kept up so it’s up to Mom and Steve to figure out options, hopefully he’s not gonna be cheap about it.”

“Well he did reach out to your mom at least.”’

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

“So…Debbie…still got it huh?”

“Oh man, yeah, I guess at first Mom thought she was just some trollop in for the good life but they’re still together, but then we only know their side of it. She brought a bunch of pictures, their place, dogs, vacations.”

“And wore tight jeans.”

“Yeah, it was something else, she likes to hug full body too, and free with the complements, was just…a lot.”

“Probably a mixed blessing.”

“I’d appreciate anything you can do to fix the weirdness.”

Deej puts her ankles around his, “We’ll see what we can arrange.”

Without thinking, Nick had gotten a tuna since that’s the first thing he ever had from Subway, and she’d already warned him he better drink a lot of Sprite after finishing it.

“So how is your mom?”

Nick takes a deep breath, “About what you’d expect…it was in the back of our minds, you know, all the alcoholism and smoking, just a house of cards.”

“Sounds like your gramma and Andy are codependent.”

Nick chuckles thoughtfully, “Yeah…yeah a good way to put it. The poor dummy just never grew up.”

They each take a few pensive sips. 

“Wanna come say hi to Mom?”

“Yeah.”

She Only

Saturday, October 31, 1992

That baby’s just a cool good looker

That baby’s sweeter than raw brown sugar

Nick arrived at Eversole’s a few minutes early and she pops out the front door in probably the shortest dress he’d ever seen her in, kinda cream-tan and sheer, stockings, low black heels, cat’s ears and whiskers drawn on with a mascara pencil. After a quick peck for a greeting he got a clear view of the large pipe cleaner that protrudes from the back and upward, 

“Do I get to grab your tail?”

Which fetches the expected wry, sultry stare.

But he had a surprise in store. After she gets situated in the shotgun bucket and her tail secured he pops in a tape, side two of Great White’s Twice Shy that he’d bought with the grocery store wages. As the drums and bass start in she starts off, 

“I take it you approve?”

Nick just looks her over and raises an eyebrow.

“Thought so.”

She looks around a bit then Jack Russell’s vocals start in, Nick just keeps driving. 

Pretty soon, “Nicky WHAT are you playing?”

He just shrugs.

The bowling alley is still about 10 minutes away with weekend traffic and this should be fun. Already she’s flushed and messing with her hair a little.

“Did you sleep well last night?”

“I slept well enough.”

He looks over to find her glaring, he just stares back between glances at the road, then she folds her arms and faces forward with her chin slightly jutted out. Pretty soon she echoes the lyrics, 

“She likes to let the small head rock her?”

“Later.”

Just take it like a sweet injection

Just a token of my affection

Deej shakes her head and faces her window, fidgets with her outfit, tries to relax, cracks the window.

Another night we'll take another direction

I'm going to play you like a rhythm section

He can sense her staring but she looks away when he checks.

During the solo Nick points out, “That’s Mark Kendall on guitar.”

“I just BET it is,” still facing the window. 

Once that track wraps up he inquires, “Think I could play that?”

“Okay, just…what… what the HELL are you supposed to be anyway?”

Nick is donned in the Hawaiian shirt, untucked over some old chinos, sandals and had grown out a very light, thin mustache which may have been enhanced by, well, some mascara he may have snuck into.

“I’m an out of work porn star.”

Deej throws her head back, “Puhhhhleeeeeeeze.”

The next track is Baby’s On Fire, to which she just keeps shaking her head and fidgeting. Nick swears he can feel a storm brewing in her part of the car.

They arrive at the Bowl A Rama about 20 minutes before their lane is supposed to be ready. Nick gets out, locks his door and steps around to her door to find those pale blue eyes in a reddened face vowing revenge. She locks her door. He unlocks it with the key and she grins slightly, but he’s nowhere near off the hook. Nick opens the door and offers a hand, she licks it and unfolds herself from the car and stands up with eyes locked at all times. 

Deej holds her gaze then jumps, but he’s somehow expecting that move and barely flinches. She then turns and walks toward the entrance. Nick follows at a safe distance then slowly catches up about teen feet from the door. She sees his reflection and gives up, turns, almost smiles,

“Did you enjoy that?”

“Did you?”

“You’ll find out, if you’re lucky…<cocks her head> do ya feel lucky, punk?” then leans in for a kiss then turns away when he goes to collect.

Nick lets her lead and she finds Vance and April near the back wall. All but three of the fifteen lanes are ocupado but these guys probably know what’s up.

“Fifteen minutes,” April relates with a crazy face, then asks Deej, “You OK?”

“Oh I’m fine, it’s this dork you should worry about.”

April, not surprisingly as a pretty cute little mouse, turns to him with a blank face, “WHAT this time?”

Nick just shrugs it off and makes the who me gesture, then turns to sum up Vance in a similar outfit to his own but with a wide-brim hat…oh, 

“Panama Jack!”

“Yeap.”

Deej has a hand on each hip, “You guys sure went all out didn’t you?”

Vance catches on, “Oh you’re a porn actor or something?”

“Call me Spritz Fitzer.”

This gets a laugh, for a variety of reasons of course.

Vance remembers an SNL skit, “Or who was Eddie Murphy that time… Miles Long?”

April is quick as always, “Rock Hard?”

Deej hits it square on the next beat, “Nahh, not...quite,” which fetches precisely the laugh she wanted as she she pecks him on the cheek in consolation.

Nick shakes his head, gets an arm around her and they all take a bench that just freed up.

Soon the lane is ready and the gals are the ones making the ball jokes. Deej takes her time and finds a 16 pounder that fits her grip, Nick settles on a 14, also for the grip. Pretty soon its evident that the ladies are going to take the lead and form a clique of sorts, they speak little to the guys save for little glances, Deej messes with Nick’s hair and it’s clear some payback is in the works.

Not surprisingly April is in a clear lead with Deej only about two frames behind, they finish in the 200s with the boys about a century back, respectively. Nick is just happy to sip a beer and take it all in, they keep the air cool and he hadn’t been here since a gang at the store had him join but only did that once. Before that it was during grade school years, mostly during his brief stint in Cub Scouts.

Vance mostly chuckles at the girls’ antics, they are fun to watch in their outfits and are probably the babe-est dates in the place. At some point Nick asks how things feel with April and just gets,

“Yeah we get along pretty good.”

And so, well, at least he tried.

Toward the last frame Deej starts draping herself across Nick’s lap right before his throw and can’t help but think it’s only right. April just sticks to the visuals, good for her, stays in her wheelhouse. All said and done the score sheet gets carefully saved unfolded, suitable for framing, according to the gals, then they head to Vance’s place just few blocks away on the second floor, and it’s nice: two bedrooms, one as a kind of exercise room and decent furniture. This is definitely well above par where he stayed with his mom growing up, good to see it.

After the ritual ten second tour Vance and April take the couch in the center of the room but Nick somehow gets tackled behind it, on his back with his arms pinned by a rather spirited sheba staring at him with a what-about-it look,

“Hi there.”

Even without his glasses her expression is impossible to miss, and pretty soon she starts to lick and bite around the face area.

Vance calls out, “Everything OK back there guys?”

Nick retorts, “I’m gonna need a mouse costume at this rate.”

This gets him a laugh from the sofa but a bite on the nose from his captor, who points out, 

“You started it. “

Nick responds by producing an erection that she acknowledges by grinding a little bit before pecking his nose and jumping up to sit on the couch.  He follows discretely as possible by crawling around and joining her and keeping his details out of view. Vance is flipping around the channels when Deej turns to April next to her, in a forced deep voice, 

“Hey Vance, remember that George Carlin routine where you cover a fart by slamming a car door?”

April catches on, “Oh hayell yeah.”

“I always wanted to see someone try that and miss.”

“OHH man, yeah…ohh…ohhh…ever amplify it with trash can?”

“Yeah, huhhh uhhh oh and who was that one band that played REALLY fast, was it…”

This denigrates into a Beavis and Butthead type of laughter until Nick pipes up, 

“You know this is kinda sexy.”

Deej grabs his leg and digs in and on it goes, but after a bit more bantering she hints they should take off soon, and they do.

Back at Nick’s car she resists a once over at first then gives in, but teases, 

“You gonna behave?”

“As well as you do.”

“Deal. Can we see the reservoir?”

“Perfect,” and they smooch to seal the deal.

As they embark Nick resumes the tape, “Okay bear with this Great White some more, you’ll see.”

Deej settles in to relax during the somber, bluesy groove of House of Broken Love at lower volume but Nick adjusts it for She Only and just lets it play. They hit the reservoir in the middle of that track and there’s only one other car up top. She just looks out. He sees her tear up and he grabs her a kleenex and takes her hand while the track finishes up, at which point she looks over with a smile, 

She only

 needs someone

She only needs 

some time

“You may need to make me a new tape.”

“Been thinking about it.”

She squeezes his hand for a few seconds, “Okay, ready when you are.”

They head to her place in a similar reverence, but once inside she locks the door and backs him to the corner of the living room where he’d tackled her the other day, staring him down with daggers as she sets down her purse, the score sheet, and whips off her dress. Turns out her stockings only go up to the thigh and she pins him to the wall and stars unbuttoning his shirt, then the pants. Her hair is a mess and the ears slightly out of place. She takes his quite ready schwanzstucker and places it inside her panties, which gives a feeling of warm above and damp cool beneath. Nick kisses her neck and shoulders and undoes her bra and they start to rock. 

Deej is able to squeeze him between her thighs and he tries like hell before admitting, 

“This won’t last long.”

So she stops the train and they keep everything else going, for a bit, then resumes, for a bit, then she disengages to take her knees, where she uses her hand to finish him off on her bare chest. Nick slides down the wall as she chuckles and rubs it around as she always does.

“Give me a minute.”

Deej straddles his lap and kisses him affectionately, “Take your time babe.”

Nick takes a few breaths then signals for her to turn around and lean on him; he has a plan. Once they’re situated he slowly works his hands toward downtown and gradually starts to knead as he has been doing, but gradually probes, testing the waters to see if he minds. At some point she gasps,

“Now I’m really glad you use baby wipes in the car.”

He just continues the work and she adjusts to give him an easier reach, which he takes as a tacit blessing, but before long she grabs his hand, 

“Lemme lie down.”

So she turns around facing him, still in her panties and he tries not to stare but even with his level of experience this is simply astonishing. Nick continues where he left off and realizes his fingers don’t reach her cervix, she’s deep, and appreciative, he tries to balance things between the inside and outside and turn his probing finger over, then finally, she twitches,

“OOH, right there.”

Nick tries the same move and gets it again, then shifts his position to keep his hand facing up, tries to find it again and does, rubs it gently and she twitches.

“OH Nick that’s my G-spot….mmmmm.”

So once this gets established the payoff is in sight, 

“Don’t stop…don’t stop…right there…yeah…”

It gets a bit freaky as she convulses and her eyes roll back, she holds her breath then there’s a puff and fresh watery wetness, and she starts to giggle. Elvis has left the building.

Deej immediately nods off and he hates to see her lying there cold on the floor so he hurries to her room to try and spot a blanket, gets lucky and covers them both up, right there on the floor. Nick is able to doze off momentarily but is wary of someone coming home sooner than expected so he nudges her awake.

“Oh…hi there, looks like we found a new thing today.”

“I guess we did.”

“Hmmm…was I out long?”

“Maybe ten minutes.”

“OK good,” draws a deep breath, “I’m gonna clean up then can we relax on the couch some?”

“No need to ask twice.”

She leans in for a peck and they put the plan into action. Nick freshens up a bit as she changes into sweat bottoms and long sleeved tee. He’s tempted to bum a different shirt but that would seem a bit casual to do here. She finds some green grapes in the fridge and rinses them off in a bowl to munch on.

“Didn’t you guys used to have a dog?”

“Yeah Smokey, we never got another one since I was going to be away, but Mom and Sam kinda want another one, maybe a beagle this time.”

“Funny, my Mom would kind of like one but keeps saying Dad and I would let it run off.”

She just shakes her head at him and sets up a radio tuned to the classical.

They situate on the couch with Nick on his back and her on his side, 

“You realize I may doze off again.”

“It’s been a long week.”

“And we just blew off some steam.”

“We sure did. I’m still in awe, getting to see that much of you.”

She twitches her hips, “There's still more to see big boy. And you realize I had to make fun of your outfit but it’s kinda hot.”

“Yours is hot by definition and several other measurements.”

She just giggles quietly. Then after a few breaths, 

“You can say it if you though April looked nice.”

“Well, more than nice, better than I need to admit, you two were really something today.”

“Mmm hmm, that was a riot and she’s really coming into her own.”

“Definitely more confident now…all Vance will say is they get along well.”

She sighs, “Figures. She plans to go on other dates, you probably figured, since he’s not really, you know.”

“Yeah not a priority.”

After a pause, “You’re making me a priority, see what it gets you?”

“It gets me more of you.”

Silence.

After a few breaths he checks in, 

“You OK?”

She sighs, “Yeah…I’m…I’m still not feeling very fit to be your gal, just…”

“Deej you know -”

She raises up to face him, looks down for a few seconds, draws a deep breath, “Nicky…it’s been what, a month now, since we got reunited, I’m still adjusting.”

“Of course.”

“And you know I - well we already covered that….oh dammit, okay, I was hoping, like a girl does, I’m guilty.”

“So?”

“I just wish things were more…black and white, cut and dry, my motives.”

“Your motives have always been like a…lighthouse for me, a compass.”

She throws him a confused look. “What?”

“I’m serious, it seems you’re usually a day or two ahead of me, like in knowing what’s important.”

She smiles a little and plays with his hair, “Thanks.”

Nick just looks at her.

She continues, “I just feel like a stubborn ass sometimes, I want you more than anything but I can’t seem to give you me.”

“Like the song in the car?”

She closes her eyes, “Yes.”

“Then we’ll give it time.”

She kisses his hand and lays her head back on his chest. “Can you handle another deep dark secret.”

“All ears.”

This gets a chuckle, “Okay…toward the end of freshman year out there there was a girl I’d talk to sometimes, we’d play ping pong and sit in the same cafeteria group, shit like that. One day she asked if we could room together the next year…at first it seemed fine but over a couple of days it started to feel…well, like, I realized she would make me feel more secure, you know how girls go for that in a guy, that’s why I’m here with you, but…being out there with no family and not many close friends, it just seemed like, I’d be dependent on her and - believe me I’ve never been attracted to another girl, but I…wasn’t sure how she felt, and I didn’t know how to ask, so I just told her I couldn’t and then she avoided me after that.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah…it was hard to tell her no without explaining, and she didn’t ask, I hope she didn’t feel rejected but…”

Nick lets her sob some more and rubs her head, pretty soon she dozes off. He’s pretty comfortable and falls off the earth a few times himself. Eventually she stirs, 

“Can you see the clock?”

Nick peers over at a vintage VCR, “How’s 5:36 for ya?”

“We should be getting company soon.”

“I’ll wanna hear how Sam did, or thinks it went.”

“OH, she talked to that boy some, her…ex…Jeremy,  at school, at least he doesn’t run away now.”

“That’s progress.”

“We’re hoping they can get along, the poor kid doesn’t have a lot going for him so he needs some confidence with girls anyway.”

“Sounds like it.”

“I’m pretty sure that ugly little fucker drinks.”

Nick cracks up.

“Okay that was harsh, but she’d like to have someone to talk to, I dunno, I doubt she wants to date anyone, but she’s joked about asking your Mom if she can make a younger brother for her.”

Nick laughs harder, “Oh god.”

“You gotta admit that’s sweet of her.”

“Yeah, she’s a treat, capo or not.”

Deej digs into his ribs and laughs maniacally.

“Hey none of that now.”

“Hope you know it’s hot to watch you play.”

“Puhhhleeeze.”

“It is.”

“Does it affect your undergarments?”

She buries her head in his chest and laughs.

“Hey have you been running?”

Once she catches her breath, “Actually the past three mornings, it’s becoming less of a struggle to keep up, but you know, can’t let the old man leave me in the dust.”

“Mmmm hmmm.”

“We should walk the reservoir sometime.”

“Yeah we should, it’s what, 2 miles?”

“About that. I think the top is all gravel.”

She squeezes his rib cage, “Wish I could bottle this. Although, you know this is where I usually lie to watch TV with Mom in the evenings, after this she’ll probably bust my butt for grinning.”

“We are really very good at this…OH…I have a confession.”

She peers up expectantly.

“There were a few times I hid from your mom at the store.”

“Nooooooo.”

“I know, big surprise, but yes it was awkward.”

“Didn’t Sam catch you once?”

“Yeah, that little face stuck in my mind for a while after that, she was lit up.”

“Nick I avoided that store more often than not, what was it, our junior year? Same thing, so…”

He squeezes her shoulders and plants on on her forehead, then after a few moments, “So who all uses the gym?”

“There’s classes then open gym, so you see faculty, staff, students, and then there’s some special needs in the community that can get access with a doctor’s note.”

“That sounds familiar from campus orientation.”

“What, you stopped working out three times a week?”

“The chicks wouldn’t leave me alone so I had to for the sake of order.”

She lifts her head and throws the dirty eye.

“You realize you’ve got the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“I do get the most complements on my eyes.”

“I could write a book.”

She pauses. “And you realize your complements add up to trouble, right?”

“I just like giving credit where it’s due.”

She takes a deep breath. “Nicky, I talked to the gynecologist this week.”

Nick takes a deep breath.

“Okay, well, I know this is a bit uncomfortable, but you should know, the tests show I would have a hard time becoming pregnant.”

Nick’s heart skips a beat.

“You OK?”

Nick clears his throat, “Yeah,” takes a breath, “Are you…how do you feel about it?”

She pauses. “Well…I think you know, we’re pretty much on the same page, in a way I see it as a confirmation.”

“Yeah.” This all has a strange hint of familiarity.

“But, then again…well, Mom had the same thing and that’s why it’s just me and Sam, they would have kept going and built on to the house.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, and the way it looks there’s doubtfully any grandkids. I get the sense Tim and Dena want kids if they stay together.”

“I get that sense too.”

She sighs. “Mom and Dad have talked about adopting, like from, um, Vietnam, Cambodia, places we used to bomb.”

“I’ve heard of that.”

“Anyway, that’s what’s going on.”

“Are you healthy otherwise?”

“Yeah, sounds like it, no cysts that they could see.”

“Those can get pretty bad, a girl I worked with got really sick and the treatment was like chemo, had to wear a wig.”

“It can get like that, I’ve been fortunate. Mom had a good checkup too.”

“Well thanks for not going into details.”

“Well you kinda know some of the details at this point, ahem…” and then cracks up maniacally.

Nick reaches his right hand beneath her sweats in the rear and just a pinky yanking her panties northward starts a war that ends in a truce when they hear the garage door go up. Remaining Eversoles trickle in and Dean speaks up first to take a guess at Nick’s costume, but Nick was ready, 

“Ever heard the saying about twenty thousand comedians outta work?”

“Ahh,” Dean buys it without asking for a receipt and echoes what Deej had already mentioned about Lorena, said she’d probably ask to meet up briefly over at Fred’s. After he disappears Deej congratulates him for a new level of BS explaining away the costume.

Sam I Am had already passed through carrying the guitar to her room then came back out to plop down on the couch with them.

“We got away from each other a couple times but figured it out.”

Turns out Sam only played along on the newer chorus stuff since the hymns are usually in arrangements that didn’t have guitarists in mind.

It becomes clear that Deej is trying to keep him around as long as she can tonight, which no one minds, there’s plenty of leftovers to pick and they play several hands of rummy, some hands with and extra player or two. At around ten she listlessly strolls out to his car holding his hand. 

“Two more years,” She says when he turns to face her by the driver door.

“School?”

She looks him in the face in just the light from a nearby pole. “It would be so nice to not have to go home, send someone home.”

“I think that every time.”

She leans on him, for a moment, then faces him again.

“OK, I just made sure I have my motivation, it’s there, just…not there so much on the weekend.”

“Isn't’ that what weekends are for?”

“Yeah and we made the most of today.”

“And then some.”

She draws a breath, “Alright, get going before I drag you back in or stow away,” the plants a good ‘un on him, “Nite.”

“Nite you, talk tomorrow.”

She walks in then looks back as he gets set to drive then waits to wave as he drives off.

Shiny Circles

Friday has been designated a chill night, and so it will be, with the help of a certain novelty.

Thursday had been a handful. Deej worked the morning and had an admissions interview at 2:30 so they shared a ride. Nick got to work a tad early and wanted to bug out early but a workstation started acting up and took most of the day with it. It all worked out since Deej had lunch with Noreen and so he ended up doing a grab and go when they weren’t even there, easier that way. But she floated by after her meeting and hung out in his office in a blue top, baggy tapered-leg pants and hair loosely back in a clip Nick made sure to show appreciation for the added scenery. Not long thereafter Nick was able to find a corrupted file and ran the simulator through a few runs, seems to be fine. 

At that point Goody told him to make tracks before something else blows up. As they head to his car, Nick relates how it feels like they’re a power couple these days, then gets in a mild once-over at passenger door. On the way to his house she updates him on the admissions stuff, next step is meet with the faculty and see what’s what. 

Back at the house there’s a message from Bain, of all things. Nick heads upstairs to find his bed already occupied and calls Bain from the workbench. Long story short, there’s a repair unit - single CD player component, that someone never picked up after 60 days so Nick is welcome to it if he covers the repair cost of 82 smackers. Needless to say, he’ll be right there, might as well let the beauty sleep. 

Nick spent a few minutes catching up and couldn’t avoid the subject of working with Fred Cribb, but Bain wasn’t put off since he only cares about product, 

“Hey if you wanna put it out there, all the best, stop by when you need anything, discount still good as long as I own this place.”

This takes just shy of an hour and he finds Deej downstairs catching up with Irene and they shake their heads at his treasure. 

“Do you even have anything to play on that?”

“Not yet but the library does.”

“My hero.”

So he stashes his find beneath the bench as Deej emerges through the door with a funny look, to which Nick explains that’s tomorrow’s project for chill night. 

“Can we have a chill night? I keep jeans in the car and I can scrounge the rest. Go find some of your silly TV tapes.”

Nick heads out and grabs her jeans to toss upstairs and already has the VCR since he’s the really the only one that knows how to use it. So they curl up to some MST, each doze off a couple times until leftovers sound good. At one point she asks if they’re still a power couple and Nick spins it up as needing to recharge their power through rest.

At some point she recalls, “Oh, Noreen wanted me to let you know that lady, Doris? She moved in to the nursing home.”

Nick has to pause. “Yeah, that’s not surprising.”

Deej gathers her things slowly and they spend a long, silent embrace at her car, then finally she sums it up warily,

“Guess I’m jumping back on the horse soon.”

“Can I be the horse?”

This lightens her up to the point where Nick feels better about things, she promises to call, then does, turns out she and the gals are headed to the store real quick.

Thankfully Friday at the school is a catchup day for Nick, Deej has the day off and Nick is eager to hit the town library and maybe that locally-owned record store on the strip. Once there he finds the CD selection has really grown since his LP harvesting slowed down after high school. Right away he finds the Black Crowes latest with Remedy and some others that 106 plays now that they’re full time rock. He grabs a Faith No More release for the hell of it, sure looks interesting with all the butcher shop imagery. There needs to be a trifecta, and pretty soon there it is, one he’d somehow never gotten hold of, Aerosmith’s ball-buster Pump.

Having lucked out so far it’s over to deposit the paycheck then to Jooce Records and Tapes. He had never really spent time in a CD section but quickly weeded out all the hair rock and wasn’t ready for grunge, although Alice In Chains seems to kick ass. For some reason in the back of his head the new Chilli Peppers release was calling. There are several on the endcap, even after being out for a year now, wow, definitely a new world but the tracks he’s heard so far are so hard and funky and, well, not speaker-safe at home; plus there are a lot of tracks so they must have filled out the full CD format length. After one more sweep around this is the winner. Blood Sugar Sex Magik.

Once home he showers off the day then gets to work wiring up this new contraption, powers it on and watches it come to life. As a test he slips in Pump and gets startled at the hard opening to Young Lust without any hiss or warning except the spinning of the disk. He’d have to let Bain know how it does, so far so good. Might as well get started taping, this will need a 60 so he lets it roll to monitor whilst settling in. 

What he hadn’t thought about was seeing if he could just play enough tracks to fill the first 30 minutes of tape, so it just runs itself out. So do we blank out that partial track at the end of the side? Nahh. So he flips the tape and eventually queues up the right track, hits pause, starts the tape, releases CD pause and right away the folksy Dulcimer Stomp starts in. This is gonna be a cool tape to play in the car. He’d almost bought it on cassette when it came out but passed.

As this rolls on Nick gets an idea about what to play tomorrow and finds it in the archive. Seems he’d borrowed the Great White cassette from someone at school and wishes he’d grabbed the CD at the library for a better deal, but for now this should work wonderfully.

Once the Boston Bad Boys finish out the dubbing process it’s time to debut the hot new Chilli Peppers release. Upon first impression it’s definitely not anything he’d heard before but rocks, so much going on, thick as a brick. After a couple more tracks this feels like a background to, well, several things, groups of many or groups of just two even, let alone to put on while working. 

By the time the haunting hour comes around Nick had sampled a bit of Faith No More but wasn’t sure he’d tape it so moved on to the Crowes which he knew was a keeper. 

Eventually the phone rings.

“Hey, whatcha doin?”

“Taping some CDs.”

“Anything I’ll get to hear?”

“Black Crowes, Aerrosmith. I went and got the new Chilli Peppers.”

“Oh I’ve heard they’re stirring things up.”

“Yeah I can see why.”

“Black Crowes…Hard To Handle?”

“Yes you are sometimes.”

“Yeah yeah, sounds like you got your chill night.”

“Pretty much, how was your Friday.”

“Also chill, I got a call back from Misery and there were never any complaints or anything suspicious found so I’m relieved.”

“No surprise there.”

“Yeah just hope that guy is OK.”

“Yeah.”

“So do you talk to a professor next week?”

“Probably, I’ll get a call or check back.”

“Sounds right.”

“Oh, and you might get a call next week, Dad said something about, well, Tuttle’s ex-wife, she’s still a partner, part-owner I think.”

“Utoh.”

“I wouldn’t worry, from what I understand she kinda keeps an eye on things, I think you understand why.”

“Yeah I can see that.”

“But it was a quiet day, Mom and I donated some old clothes and found some new things at the Mennonite store.”

“More of those floor-length skirts?”

“Yeah keep dreamin’.”

“It’s what I do.”

“Nicky last night was so nice, I didn’t want to come home, glad we could just relax like that.”

“Yeah, still getting used to having you around.”

She pauses. “Noreen said something yesterday that I’m still trying to, like process…more and more she’s sure I’m the only one that could unlock you.”

“Could, or did?”

Another longer pause. “It’s too hard to believe, I don’t consider myself more than average.”

“What do you know about it?”

“She said she sometimes has to keep her mind from wondering, I told her I understand, she feels bad.”

“She’s a great lady.”

Silence. 

“So I pick you up about 11 tomorrow?”

“Mmmmm, yeah, so April can leave us all in the dust.”

“And Sam I Am is going with your folks?”

“Yeap.”

Nick can’t think what to say next.

“So you’ll bring me back to an empty house.”

“GULP.”

This gets a hearty laugh.

“Did you really listen to jazz the other night?”

“Mmmm yes I did, you’re right, that’s the only way to soak.”

Nick gets distracted thinking of a mutual soak.

“You still there?”

“My mind wondered.”

“I bet you weren’t thinking about the CD player.”

“Not exactly.”

“Mmmm hmmm…well, we better rest up so we can throw some balls around,” then giggles.

“I’m required to ask, are you strong enough to lift my balls?”

“Yeah yeah, save it for the alley stud, love you.”

“Love you, hon.”

The Tape

Fall 1986

“Hey what’s the first thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?”

“I don’t wanna-”

“His asshole.”

Tim had hovered right between Nick and Deej to deliver that payoff.

Deej swats at him, “Yeah who asked you?”

Tim gleefully gallops back to the group of apes he’d fallen in with after coming along with Deej’s youth group to check things out, which pretty much translates to these kinds of meaningful encounters with females. Nick just puts his head down onto the tray he’d inherited that had a few pickable fries left, from which his brother had just picked one, evidently thinking he deserved a tip.

Deej asks, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah just…I dunno.”

She had called Monday night to invite him along to an event at a big church in Dunlap and he could bring whomever. Since it was time with Deejay he didn’t want to make Vance a third wheel, and besides he had practice most nights. But Irene mentioned it to Tim and here we are and Nick is just feeling out of sorts. These are not his stars.

They are seated at one of those square booths opposite a pair, not a couple, his name is Wade and hers is Beth, both schoolmates of said Deejay, as they call her, both play in the small school band. Wade is a percussionist and so Nick found that interesting, but of course the conversation has three insiders and so Nick just looks on. However, Deej has a way of touching her knee to his more often than not, so there’s that at least.

The opposite pair decide on hot pies and hop up to the counter so Nick warily continues, 

“Been a long day.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Not really, then an algebra quiz, felt kinda lost.”

“Ouch. If it makes you feel any better I sat in something wet today that I’m glad to leave unexplained.”

“That sucks.”

“Glad you could come with us, even with…”

“Yeah, he’s usually a sideshow.”

Nick wore his old track sweatshirt and it seemed a tad warm in here, maybe it was the company. He senses activity her way and looks over to see her readjust her ponytail and looking at him, and so the gaze starts, her smile warms, and so does everything beneath his sweatshirt. Finally this seems like the time to hand her what he’d been securing in the font pouch along with his trusty hairbrush, a Memorex 60-minute cassette with the side sticker labels simply stating: For DJ. The case liner is still turned with the yellow brand label facing outward,

“Made you something.”

Her eyes get really big as he slides it under the table and she sticks it in her purse and takes a sip of whatever pop they serve at the time. Then she casually looks around, tugs her pone again, turns toward him and slips her left knee over his right knee, and seems to have found new inspiration, not to mention slightly flushed,

“Thank you, Nicky…umm, so, what else are you taking besides algebra?”

To this point they had just sat together in the big welcome at the ceremony then it was like an activity fair, pingpong, Nick slapped the volleyball around some but it was just a hangout thing and trying to avoid Tim as much as possible. The vans segregated males and females, as Nick got the sense there had been shenanigans on prior trips that would be best to avoid going forward.

Deej ended up shooting hoops and didn’t try volleyball till after Nick had already busted a blood vessel at it, so Nick just kinda stood by and checked out some booths. One was recruiting for a vocal group that toured the region, he asks if they had any instruments but just their leader on piano. Figures.

At one point Tim smarts off to Deej and she’s too quick, pins back his thumb till he squeaks out an uncle, although he was sure to add theatrics to salvage it with some laughs. After about an hour and a half they load up the vans and here they are as Nick recites his day,

Nick is pretty sure he had mentioned his schedule before recently, but here goes, “Physical Science, Typing, Freshman Lit, Study Hall, Phys Ed, Restroom, Health, and Lunch. Not in that order and sometimes Restroom repeats a few times.”

This gets an amused smile, “So you are sure to get it right.”

“Good to the last drop.”

She looks away grinning, holds back a chuckle, then, “Are you taking a language?

“Spanish next year I think, Mom thinks it’s more valuable than French.”

“She’s a smart lady, you should listen to her more.”

“Yeah.” Nick runs dry and looks around.

“So in phys ed do you play football?”

“Yeah at first is usually the tradition in fall. But Dougan is head coach so he’s watching the game tapes all day, think I’ll try to take it in the fall next year since at this point we just stand around dribbling.”

This gets a giggle and she flushes.

“What?”

“Ohhhh my, what are we gonna do with you?”

Nick instinctively grins, “Is that why there’s separate vans?”

She doubles over a bit and covers her mouth with a wrist, “Mmmmm, maybe.”

“You look nice.” The sweater brings her eyes out, not that they need much help.

“Stop it, I didn’t do anything.”

“Don’t need to.”

“Nicky, YOU behave,” through gleaming braces.

Right about then is the call to board for home, specifically the same Baptist church was home base. Nick and Deej clasp pinkies a few times on the way out then she squeezes his hand,

“See ya when we get there.”

Riding toward the front and as far from the dipshits behind the rear van seat as he could get, Nick has a killer guitar riff in his head that he’s pretty sure is original and sure wishes he could actually play. He looks into the window and can see his reflection looking back from whatever light is available, ruddy and slightly pimpled; what a strange turn life took two years ago when starting seventh grade as a newly minted teenager, and now, for the moment, the adventure is on and the tunnel doesn’t seem so dark.

Track And Field Day

May, 1984

It’s sixth grade track and field day at the varsity stadium and got pretty warm in the afternoon with no clouds. They were allowed to wear shorts today but Nick didn’t see the need having not signed up for any events, evidently spectating counts as participation. 

Nearby, one of the girls who, a few grades ago, would try to keep him focused in class is dousing her fair-complected self with a spray water bottle even though they advised it amplifies the burn potential despite cooling off the skin.. 

This year has been a mix. It started out fun, there were a few kids forming a pretend rock band for which Nick signed up for as custodian, although in his mind he thought of it as a maintenance/technician/sound guy type of thing. No one else really got it.

Math was going to be self paced and he got to go to a different room for reading along with a gal named Missy, she was OK. The assignments seemed fun but he found himself getting carried away and straying far from the subject book and got a D, then somehow ended up with the first interim report for below average work. That self-paced math also fell prey to his imagination and, like in years prior he would have to sit in the hall to finish up some days, and took home another interim. 

But it wasn’t just him. For his class the onset of hormones seemed to fuel a fire of unknown origin and behavior was a huge distraction. It could have also been a sign of the times, with the cold war tensions tensions at a generational high during the fall a certain amount of nihilism is understandable.  Most days at least one class session was interrupted for about 10 minutes for corporal punishment, requiring a witness, with the crack of the paddle causing every eye to widen. 

Mrs. Lorenzo had the shop teacher fashion a paddle in the shape of the school mascot, the Jameson Jaguar. On two occasions, on the same rear end, the crack was followed by a tinka-tinka-tinka sound of something on the floor, in both cases the jaguar’s left ear came loose. Ned surmised it was probably where two boards were joined, something Nick would learn the next year in shop.

Before long Mr. Martin had a talk with his team teacher, the exotic and graceful Mrs. Lorenzo, and they made changes. First was the self-paced math reverted to a traditional format. Then they experimented with seating arrangements. Before long the two homerooms were divided into Group I and Group II, the former being those with better grades. Nick was in Group I although he got along better with folks in the other group.

But the distractions continued, sometimes even music class in the nearby band room would go on hold for ten or fifteen minutes. Sixth grade traditionally had two recesses, one after lunch then a shorter one mid afternoon, but probably to make up for these distractions the second one was taken away. 

Gradually things settled down some as a whole but Nick found himself the fascination of a gal who left a valentine’s card in his desk, a secret admirer. Some of the other girls found this fascinating and it was all over the room, they knew it was for him before he even did, asked if he’d read it. Nick took home the card and burned it discretely in the garage heater. But that wasn’t the end of it. After a few days he got a note from a girl he’d known since kindergarten and revealed the identity, a smart, prematurely buxom redhead who’s eyes had made funny signals across the lunch table at one point.

This eventually blew over but it was unsettling, and it didn’t help when the hormones seem to affect certain males that run mostly on high ego and apparently low self esteem. There were two in particular, and Nick had no idea why they each went into a fit and lightly punched his chest with a barrage of fists. It didn’t hurt, just, confused.

And of course this had to be one of those years with a lot of physical illness, always seems to accompany times like these. One time there was a mess in the hall still being cleaned up during a class change, and a substitute teacher advised Nick to just walk past it with his head down. So he does and everyone laughs, gets into the other classroom seething with anger at the assholes, even though he’d probably done a lot to lighten the situation for his trouble.

One of the big projects had been a foreign country report, including written, oral presentation and a bulletin board. The written part had to have margins, but Mrs. Lorenzo’s directions made it sound like you had to have margins within the margins of notebook paper. For the oral part you just read the written part, which was enough like reading from the text book which they were all used to. But the bulletin board never really came together, nothing seemed to fit, and the file of magazine clippings included an photo of two fully nude, fully grown German males in a bathtub, which Mrs. Lorenzo just dismissed as cultural differences between here and Europe. In the end he was notified that the bulletin board was incomplete and he read aloud and turned in a report with large margins and his usual barely-legible printing.

During the winter it became hard to function for a while, which is normal for him in the winter but times like this, something’s gotta give.

One of the bright spots was the science fair, a natural chance to win, and the natural subject is radio. With a plastic case from RadShack and parts from the equally RadShack experimenter kit, Nick crudely solders together an AM transmitter to use with a small portable desktop radio. This is a hit, and at one point even fakes a page for the nearby superintendent who falls for it at first, then jokes with him about it when passing by. After realizing that the report has to include an experiment, Nick devises a simple deal to increase distance and assess reception. The world-weary Mr. Martin, a year away from retirement, had already failed a few folks and was known to just stare you down coldly as you answer questions in the interview portion. Somehow Nick still gets the A.

As with most years, when spring starts to break through the chill things lighten up and they even get a couple afternoon recesses left, at teacher discretion. Mrs. Lorenzo, through the help of some girls, finally starts handing back some assignments, including the West Germany report, which amounts to a B for all that strife, indecision, and simply not knowing how to answer questions. One of the girls handing back papers is unnecessarily enchanting, short, and cute - although he can’t get himself to even say it, and Nick anticipates her having to hand him a paper, which she does, and it’s a…moment.

Here at the stadium the clear-skyed spring is a bit too much this afternoon, but this is what we get for not thinking things through. As with most things, it just comes down to being properly motivated.

Shea Garage

 On Monday night the phone rings around the usual haunting hour,

“Swansons.”

“Mmmm hmm. See anything you like today?”

“There was this tall number at the gym looking pretty good.”

“Gonna ask her out?”

“Dunno, I bet she gets asked out all the time.”

“I can put in a good word for ya…”

“Yeah but gal I’m seeing wouldn’t like it.”

“Alright, dork, you acted like an eighth grader today!”

“And you made a point to walk around in heels.”

“SHORT heels.”

“Still, that sound on the floor has been echoing in my head ever since, at least I got the stupid network cards figured out.”

“That’s what happens when you apply yourself.”

“Speaking of which, how’d it go?”

“Oh it should be fun, sometimes I can put in a full day if I want, 8 to 6, with breaks of course.”

“Makes it worth the drive.”

“Yeah really, and I have choices with wardrobe, already raided Mom’s closet but will have to get some bottoms, we’re going to the thrift shop tomorrow.”

“Gotta shroud that powertrain.”

“Mmm, you got the powertrain…or is it more of a grease gun?”

“Might need to lube your chassis, ma'am.”

This gets a snort and a hard laugh, “God sweetie, this is why I wait till the living room is cleared out, I’d be busted for sure turning this red.”

“At’s my strawberry.”

This gets a grunt, then, “OH, I was a big girl this morning and called the Sheriff over in Misery.”

Nick raises eyebrows, “Really now.”

“Yeap, the deputy I spoke with actually had an idea who I meant but they’re going to check around the department, at any rate he’s pretty certain there’s no reason to worry.”

“Well good, I’d hoped we could go see Deke but things got crazy.”

“Yeah we still need to, he’s like a legend.”

“Definitely a legend.”

“Yeah they said I’d have all grounds for self defense for starters, and they appreciated my concern even if it’s been a while.”

“Well good, something to rest on.”

“Yeah…OH, been meaning to ask…”

“Yaes?”

“Who cuts you hair, dear?”

Nick pauses. “Umm, lots of people.”

“You’ve touched it up since I’ve been back haven’t you?”

“Maybe a little. I was doing a buzz for a while then just let it back out.”

“Mmm hmm. Howbout you come this way for dinner tomorry night, as you say, I have look I want to try. Mom and I have been cutting hair for years in the garage.”

“You just call the shots doncha, lady?”

“Hey bubba…I think we both know of situations where you call the shots. Plus, it’ll give you a professional edge.”

“Alright, might as well.”

“Thank you honey!”

Nick pauses. “Why does it feel like I’ve joined the service?”

“Aunt Deejay want’s YOU,” as she cracks herself up.

And so the next day is pretty uneventful until he’s giving her a good once-over in her garage, even gets his hands under the hood. After moving to work the neck and ear she gasps, 

“I think you’re stalling.”

“Just calling the shots.”

“Keep this up you’re gonna pull my trigger.”

With that he bites her lower lip and holds it.

“Why muth you get me so worked up befow we haff dinner wif my vamily?”

He licks her lower lip and keeps holding.

She licks his nose and wiggles free, “Well at least now you don’t owe me a tip - DON’T say it!”

He just raises an eyebrow.

“Siddown, junior.”

Nick plops down in the old scratched up wooden chair and she covers him up with a tablecloth that’s almost as old as the chair.

“Do I get a magazine at least?”

“I can tell why you don’t get many haircuts. Now keep still.”

“Gramma used to smack the boys with the scissor handle if they didn’t sit still.”

“I knew I liked her.”

Deej dips a comb in a jar of water and starts in.

Nick gets antsy, “hear any good gossip lately?”

“Well…you didn’t hear it from me, but Sam coughed up a lung at school today, said it looked like guacamole.”

“Never mind.”

She giggles, pecks his cheek, adjusts his head downward and starts working the back.

Nick decides to just relax and enjoy the moment. The moment. It’s always over too quickly and she’s got him trapped for about 20 minutes, dinner is cooking, things could be a hell of a lot worse.

“Ever get your dad in this chair?”

“Actually, no, I just trim Mom and Sam now and then.”

“So…I’m a prototype?”

This gets his skull rapped with a comb.

“Are you gonna run with him tomorrow?”

Her hands stop moving. “I really should, thanks for the reminder…dork.”

“I’m here for you.”

This gets another quick peck as she tilts his head back to start the top.

“I must say the service here is very warm and personal.”

She giggles, “I’m tempted to steady your head with my chest but then my hairy shirt would get us in trouble.”

“I’d clean it off.”

This gets another tap with the comb which he heeds for a while, till she starts a new firing line,

“Hon, so, remind me, what was it like in high school, what did it feel like?”

“A job.”

“Wow.”

“It was my first job. Even did some photography for the yearbook here and there, long story.”

She takes a breath, “I suppose if you’re not into most of the activities then it would seem that way.”

“Yeah closest thing was shop or doing electronics over at voc, and the only music besides the band were just idiots trying to get laid.”

“Always comes back to that don’t it?”

Nick sighs. “So you did choir?”

“Yeah except for one year, tried volleyball but we didn’t have much luck, got tired of taking friendly fire.”

Nick snickers and gets the deserved comb smack. “I always get a busted vessel in my hand.”

“Yeah that too. Wait, you mean for volleyball, right?”

“Gimme that comb.”

Yeap, he gets another comb smack.

“Ba-dum CRASSHH.”

“I’ll be here all week.”

“So did your school play like the other small schools?”

“Yeah, that conference with the really long name - except just the gym sports of course.”

“They all sound the same to me, those conferences with the alphabet soup.”

“So you had big pep rallies there in town?”

“Oh yeah, one time the sports dude from channel 8 came down when we were deep in playoffs, everyone making coke jokes, you can imagine the rest.”

“Ain’t that America,” she sings in a hefty voice.

“Don’t quit your day job.”

“Speaking of, did you grab your you-know-what for some after dinner music?”

“I’ve grabbed it several times under here.”

This time he gets the scissor handles. “Ahem?”

“OW - Yes it’s in the car.”

This gets a peck as she switches sides.

About then Nancy peeks in, “How’s the patient?”

Nick is quick on the punch, “She’s hitting me with things.”

Deej defends, “He’s being a potty mouth.”

Nancy, “Well just wash his mouth when you shampoo him.”

Deej just stands within his view with raised eyebrows.

The door closes and she confirms, “You’re welcome to sink wash in the bathroom.”

“Has it been decontaminated?”

“Yes, more than once, the one in the hallway is approved for civilian use.”

“You gonna put some mousse in it?”

She steps away and giggles quietly.

“Oh, Deej.”

Turning back towards him, “You know me too well, my dear.”

The finishing touches are done, the cape comes off, time to shake off his head over the floor and get that sink wash.  On the way he passes Sam dutifully studying on the couch and gets the groucho eyebrows as he passes by. Once in that bathroom he can’t help feel like that 8th grader again, wow, if these walls could talk, they have seen paradise. 

He finds the emptiest bottle of girly shampoo, wait, not the Finesse, yeah, just use the purple Aussie. By the time he’s rinsed and trying to shake off the excess Deej appears with a towel and a comb.

“Not too dry, here, “ then she stands behind him behind him to comb it out..

“Want me on my knees.”

In clear eyeshot she smirks a grin and gooses, “Later,” then keeps combing.

Nick ends up with a middle part, something he’d given up on in recent years but seems worth a try, and she did that look you see on TV where it fans back at the bangs then short on the sides,

“Wow really good sculpting without shears.”

“Yeah next time we’ll use yours.”

“Next time?”

She turns him around for a direct gaze with her elbows on his shoulders, does a little wiggle and moves closer, they start to munch when Nancy yells that supper’s ready.

“Fuck,” Deej whispers.

“Later.”

She just smacks his head with a hand this time, “C’mon tiger.”

After a word of grace, without the holding of hands given the recent infection rate, and complements on the haircut, they load up with meat loaf and veggie casserole as Dean asks for a quick update on the ol’ project which thankfully is on target, just need the pending equipment to arrive. Nick was glad to have access to a crossover network jumper from the school to verify the drivers; his old 35 came with a card which gave him a huge inner track. The shop is not on a tight schedule but as a matter of excellence this is how it should go.

From there the girls kinda take over, although Nick tries to bait some embarrassing stories but Nancy stays ahead of him. Over the years he would have never known she’s this sharp, at least in certain contexts, must have been some sort of nervous shield up in public. Thankfully no more lung goober updates but Sam takes some heat for cutting a girl down, and that of course takes on an after-school special kinda tone.

But Nick postpones dessert to get set up while they clean up and set him out a piece of pie. He hadn’t carried this amp since he bought it and is starting to think he did the right thing, usually has to keep the master pretty low as to not blow out windows but figures he can dig deeper into the 45 watts in the garage at some point, although he usually pictures Ned’s carefully-arranged tools cascading off the pegboard for his trouble.

Pretty soon Sam is all set up and she makes eye contact for the cue even though she pretty much leads this dance. Nick had been working with the tape but this is good since she’ll mix it up here and there. Such a fragile little thing to produce all that sound but those long limbs and fingers sure work their magic, through the minor-scale mosaic, all familiar ground until she pauses and whips on a capo at the second fret.

Nick looks over flatly, “Serious?”

Sam makes a maniacal face and rubs her hands, then starts playing the same arrangement a full step higher.

He turns to Deej, “Where did she get that?”

Deej snaps her fingers and points, “Boogie!”

Well there’s one born every minute. Nick starts in with the F#m as a guess and that’s the ticket, or wait, isn’t this Bm? Well they’re close enough except a note or two so tries both and soon it’s all there. 

He can hear Deej bragging, “I think my boy’s coming along nicely don’t you?” This must be poetic justice or else good training for a real crowd, as it will probably come to that in sweet time. 

For now he thinks he keeps up pretty good without repeating phrases, well, except when it kinda builds. She switches to majors now and again and he keeps it sparse, which works well in the blend, at least to his ears. Eventually she does a progression then repeats it slowly, signaling a finale. The room applauds and Nick can’t resist,

“Thank you thank you, please tip your waitress. We’re now booking for the holidays and available for weddings, funerals and bar-mitzvas.”

This gets a mixed reaction as Deej would never give him credit for such shtick. 

“I hear you might play at home group?” Dean is hopeful.

Nick thinks fast, “Well she seems interested, I hadn’t thought about it, would need a bass unless it’s a background thing like this.”

Deej recuses him, “Nick is already booked for a private concert for yours truly.”

“DANIELLE!” Nancy takes a swat as Deej turns beet red, probably even to the furthest regions, and melts into a giggling dollop of jelly on the floor.

Nick has to bury his head as this blows over and hopes his ears aren’t as flushed as they feel.

Sam is laughing harder than he’s ever seen and pounding the couch.

After a few eternal seconds Nick draws a breath and packs up the ol’ knockoff and gathers cords, thankfully that’s the end of it as the parentals head toward their own sanctum. 

Deej pulls close, “You gonna eat my pie - um, your pie?”

“Get it ready,” which sends her into another heap.

After packing up Nick heads to the kitchen and enjoys an excellent grape pie as the girls recover and enjoy what was obviously a plot, so he’ll have to think of doozie. For now he floats back in there, 

“OK missy, where did you find a capo?”

This gets a who-me expression so he drops it.

“Alright Red, on your feet.”

Deej reaches for a help up, “Are you calling the shots again?”

Nick grabs her hands and braces for the expected pull down and they end up in a tug of war, both on their feet until Nick lets go and Deej goes flying.

“YOU…<loud whispers> dickface.”

Sam goes back into hysterics as Nick tackles DJ, starts with the snorkeling on her neck, after which Sam bolts, 

“Get a room, perverts.”

Deej breaks in, “We better do what she says, c’mon.”

So she leads him into her room, which he’s never really seen out of reverence and, mostly, long held all-encompassing, paralyzing fear. 

Nick stops just inside the door and looks around, “So this is it.” There’s a couple of small posters, one of Heart from the Bad Animals era, nice, but mostly artwork.

“Yes this is it, yes mostly the same…I feel the same way in your space.”

Nick takes a deep breath and doesn’t know where to look.

“Come sit with me.”

He complies.

“I swear you guys are more afraid than we are.”

Nick pauses, “I was deathly afraid of your dad for the first year after we met, just because.”

She looks at him with a small smile, “I think I get it. Girls are intimidated by a guy’s mom, and Irene seems impossible at first, so poised and classy. And clever.”

“Yeah she would have been a great teacher really, might still, who knows.”

“I’ve been trying to encourage it.”

Nick stops stalling and kisses her gently. 

She pulls back and grins, “I keep waiting for you to make a crack about ice cubes.”

Nick pauses, “Same to you.”

They laugh. Nick spots the jar, 

“Read anything good lately?”

“Hmm? OH, yeah, I paced myself with about one per hour, laughed till I coughed, unfortunately you had it even back then. Lord, soemwhere…<looks around> I even have that…the tighty-whities, please tell me it was yours.”

“Maybe, does it still have the -”

“YES, even knowing it’s just a brown marker, you’re lucky I never burned it.”

“I still have the bra.”

“God Nicky, I’d hate to see what a shrink says about us.”

“What’s wrong with some…creativity?”

“Speaking of…the haircut, do you really approve?”

“Did I run out screaming?”

“I distracted you.”

“Oh yeah. Can we go back in there?”

She pulls him in for more munchface, then whispers, “Retreat.”

Nick whispers, “Deal.”

She giggles. “Tonight was perfect.”

“Even with the damn capo caper,” he fires with an expectant cadence.

She hides her face, “Good luck, we’re all sworn to secrecy.”

“Mhmmm.”

“Hey, wanna catch a little T and V on the C O U C H?”

“That works.”

So they find some Funny Videos and at some point she relates how she’ll be lying there watching with her mom over in the chair and wonders what it would be like with him there but remembers she’d be too distracted, so never mind, or along those lines.

“So what did you dipshits talk about on the golf course?”

“I told you about the Fred Cribb conversation -”

“Mmmhmm, you’re gonna be hard to hang on to with all this success.”

“Well you know where my handle is -”

This gets her pretending to dig for the handle and him pretending to defend.

“Alright alright, and the caroling came up while we ate, other than that…oh, you heard Vance bowled badly with some Dawsons?”

“I did.”

“Of course you did.”

“Did he mention we have a lane Saturday afternoon, Halloween?”

“No shit? They’ll be packed.”

“And I may have a cat costume.”

“OK, comment overload, rebooting.”

After a bit more of this and that he complements Sam on the night’s set and vows revenge, gets a devious look then they get his equipment out to the car. Once loaded, she presses him against the dark paint next to the garage door and reaches for his pants while staring him down.

“Uhhh-”

“Relax sport, we’re in the shadows.” She plants a kiss while working loose the belt and other encumbrances and at this point it doesn’t take long to free the beast, which she cups into a palm and once again rubs on her chest before he even has a chance to explore.

“You are a scoundrel,” is all Nick can muster.

“I’m your scoundrel, just calling the shots.” As she helps get him reassembled in his dazed state.

“Never to be outdone.”

“Mhmmm. Gunnite, you.”

They embrace and try to avoid prolonging since this could go on till sunup.

As Nick starts moving he cracks the window, “Hope there’s enough ice cubes.” Then rolls it up as he sees her shadow doubled over laughing in the driveway.

There has never been a more mellow yet inspired drive home.

Fore

Sunday Oct 27, 1992

The gang is enroute to tee hole six. With several bags from which to choose Nick is getting into the groove with the recommended borrowed clubs, some coaching, and simply keeping it in play, don’t worry about distance. They only count his decent shots and pretty much just has to put within a yard of the hole (including overruns) to count as a sink.

Fred showed up so they have the full five, making good time but surprisingly sparse course for the gentle gusts and mixed sun. However, experience has taught Vance that during the Bears game it’s usually like this. Ned compromised by keeping an old transistor radio handy, probably Irene’s suggestion.

Sometime during the second hole, a big par five the younger three recalled belting out Christmas carols as they roamed around town during the summer. Sure enough, if no other party is in sight, someone starts in with this or that as the veterans just shake their heads.

But this time Fred pulls Nick back with something on his mind,

“So that deal with Chuck’s shop, did you negotiate that on your own?”

“Yeah the manager asked me if I knew anyone who could give a quote and we decided to give it a try, here we are.”

“And you drew up a contract with the materials, labor…”

“Yeap, found some examples in the campus library and ran it past Hank Deacon.”

“Ahh, there it is, yeah I worked with him and Lew over the years, very good. Well, more and more I get questions about that kind of work Nicky, I take it they were Big Blue?”

“Yeah sounds like Tuttle didn’t want to renew it.”

“There ya go, so…did you do hourly or lump sum?”

“Lump sum with some support hours, then hourly after that.”

“Ned this kid did his homework, alright, you can probably guess what I’m driving at, but next time I get asked, are you in?”

Nick glances over at Ned, who’s giving him the same look.

“Well, why not?”

Vance and Tim are laughing their asses off about something and have to be nudged aside.

“It’s a win-win, son, I even have a bit of work space, hell you can be my guest for Chuck’s gig even.”

Nick pauses and catches his breath, “Well hopefully this still sounds like a good idea when my head’s not spinning.”

This gets a laugh and pat on the back, “Oh it will Nicky. OH are you working part time still?”

“Yeah for Goody, um Al -”

“Oh we know Goody don’t we Ned?”

Ned, “An oldie but a Goody.”

“There ya go, so you get to juggle things around.”

“Yeah pretty much. For now it’s good to stage things at home but would be nice to have space.”

“Alright, we’ll see what we can do. So you’re seeing a gal, did I see you with a blond?”

“Yeah, well, now it’s -”

Ned pipes up, “She handed him off to a different blond, both smart and gorgeous - did we ever have that problem Fred?”

“Not on your life, dogs like us are lucky to get one to go out. So the first blond, did you drive her to the convent?”

And so it goes. They get to slow down a bit since no one is even two holes back, as Fred vows to spring for a golf cart if they ever do this again, doesn’t stretch the ol’ pins enough anymore.

So it proceeds in this fashion with most balls in play and a redone drive or two if it just dribbles, but this is definitely better than Mark Twain described, he must have not played with the right screwballs. 

At one point Vance turns to Nick, 

“Oh not sure if you heard but I went bowling with April and her folks yesterday, it was nice.”

“Did she beat you at least?”

“Actually by a whole lot, I never got the hang of that game.”

“Well it builds character, kinda like playing pool in a someone’s basement, the one who owns the table is usually better than the guest.”

“Something like that, at least I’m doing better today.”

“What’s the scores anyway?”

“I don’t think anyone’s keeping a card so we all have to buy drinks.”

“Deal.”

Back at the clubhouse the consensus is Nick won but Fred buys a round of drafts, not surprising.

Tim is on a three-day pass so they’ll be over for dinner again tonight and Nick vows to have a date this time and calls her from the clubhouse - and he’s in luck since they’re just scrounging supper like most Sunday nights.

Back at the house Nick finds Deej already gabbing with the gals and pulls her aside for a proper greeting but she’s still wary so they just squeeze. Supper goes pretty much without fanfare save for the part where Nick, during a quiet pause, 

“BOMP...BOMP…BOMP”

Then Tim joins, “ANOTHER ONE BITES MY NUTS.”

Right on the next beat, Irene casually asks, “Dena does your family have a big Christmas every year?” She was ready. 

But as a consolation prize Nick can see Deej turn ever so slightly red as she kicks the stars out of his right calf.

After things are cleaned up our hero lures her to the stairs at least so he can sit behind her some. 

She grabs his hands resting on her shoulders.

“So you have orientation tomorrow?”

“Yeah I get to start actually, shadowing someone, but not till afternoon.”

“Yeah I have stuff in the morning or we could join forces, might stop by tho.”

She squeezes his hands, “If you can.”

“Then back at the other salt mine up there gonna chip away at those stupid network drivers.”

“I might stop by on the way home.”

“Mmmm…for how long?”

She pauses. “You’re good at that.”

“What?”

“What, indeed, anyway, vee shall see, but if I get to stay then I’ll help your mom of course. Tonight was nice, thanks for asking me.”

About then Tim steps over, “Danni do I hear you’re an advanced belt?”

She sets her head. “Who wants to know?”

Tim gets a deer in the headlight look. 

Nick makes the whistle from the Good, Bad, and the Ugly as he feels Deej squeeze his hands then loosens her grip, then she jumps to her feet in a stance.

Tim’s eyes get bigger then he pulls a finger gun and makes the PCHEWWWW noise, Deej falls back and the room loses its mind.

The night is still young but Deej leaves when the other two head out. At the car she hints that she might just feel not so contagious tomorrow, as the story goes.