“Good morning Mr. Swanson, and we seem to have the wrong birthday on here, you look great for 74.”
“Are you kidding? He’s only 28, he looks like hell.”
“Shut your goddamn mouth boy, I shoulda thrown you in a bucket of water when you were small enough.”
“It was nice for you to bring him in, Nick, is he always this pleasant?”
“Oh we have our fun don’t we Nicky?”
“Yeah, he ain’t that bad for such an old fart,” Nick says with a wry grin.
“I’ll drink to that!”
“Mr. Swanson, have you been drinking?” the doc asks knowingly.
“Sure I drink water, milk, juice...” he responds knowingly.
“anything...else?”
“Howbout a beer now and then?”
“I’d prefer a glass of wine, but one or two brews at a time should be fine, as long as your blood pressure can take it.”
“Doc, the real question whether the world can handle my blood pressure.”
“Ba-dum CRASSSHHHH” says Nick.
“Hear that? Twenty THOUSAND comedians outta work...”
“Thank yewww thank yewww, I’ll be here all week...”
“God, please, my blood pressure can’t take it”
“Well let’s get your vitals - have you had your prostate checked in a while?”
“What prostate?”
“Ahh, here it is, ten years ago, damn you’re doin my job for me!”
“Well I don’t stick my finger up there if that’s what you mean.”
“Alright gimme time, I’ll find something wrong with you”
“Better get my wife in here and save some time.”
“Alright Nick you mind stepping outside, I need to have a te ta tet with your granddad.”
Nick looks over as if to get approval, and notes a bit of concern in the old salt’s eyes, then says, “Sure, doc” and steps out into the waiting room.