Friday, July 3, 1992
"Everything looks and smells wonderful, ladies, " Ned offers.
"Well since Nick and Tim did almost nothing to help I believe he means us," Irene directs flatly at Noreen.
"Why thank you, Ned, it's good to feel appreciated, isn't it Irene?"
Nick looks at his brother. "Ever feel like you're underappreciated?"
"Dude, I'm in the Army..."
"Touché."
Noreen just sighs. Several moments pass with just the sound of chewing and scraping forks, weather has been mild so they have windows open and the attic fan is doing its magic.
"So do they still have WACs or do you have to go off base for a good time?" Nick fires off.
"Well they're not called that anymore, but let's just say some of us don't need WACs for a good time..."
"Alright-" Irene interjects, "So are you at least seeing anyone steadily beyond just a good time"?
"Yeah, like with the lights on so she has to -"
"NICK," Ned admonishes.
Tim finishes a bite and confesses, "Yeah there's a gal at the credit union I've taken out a few times, guess we'll see where it goes."
"Well that's good. Have you thought about college yet?"
"What's college?"
Nick and Ned both grin. Noreen looks at Nick in an attempt to avoid laughing, has to close her eyes and swallow it with some potatoes.
"Noreen was it anything like this growing up with all those brothers?"
"Pretty much, at least the ones that didn't get thrown in a river." This gets a bigger laugh than Nick knows what to do with.
"We tried but the river spit these two back out," Ned offers.
Nick pipes up, "OK in light of all this I'm afraid I'll need to be excused."
Irene: "Oh no."
Nick leans toward Noreen and rips one onto the bare wooden chair, which gives it an impact wrench sort of effect. Noreen just looks away and sighs.
Irene: "That's an old one."
Tim: "She just called you an old fart."
Noreen: "No more beans for the lab rat here."
Irene: "I move we stop feeding him altogether."
Ned: "I second."
Noreen: "All in favor?"
As expected, Nick is the sole nay.
Irene taps a salt shaker onto the table, "Motion carries."
"So...." Nick starts in.
Noreen: "Now what?"
"....Timbo, do they let you handle a gun much?"
"Depends on what you mean, technically it's verboten but what you do in the shower is your own beeswax."
Noreen starts to cough, reaches for water, everyone asks if she's OK, she holds up a hand, then stops abruptly and fires an emblazoned, point-blank glare at Nick like he'd never seen before.
And so, Nick looks down and continues eating.
* * * * *
The gals are the only ones left at the table. Ned had excused himself to the garage to check up on some spray painting (officially) and for some peace and quiet (obviously).
"Have I told you that you must be a saint?" Noreen consoles.
"Thanks, dear," Irene flatly responds.
"How soon till we make them do dishes?"
Irene looks at her, "I think you're gonna fit in just fine around here."
They smile and clink glasses.
The brothers had been at the piano for about ten excruciating minutes; some things are only fun if you're the one doing it.
Noreen: "So this is your reward for teaching them?"
Irene shakes her head, "No good deed..."
"Are you taking in any real students these days at least?"
"Here and there, and I gotta say, even the worst ones don't give me half the headache."
They look on to the next room, Tim seated and pounding out the chords, BUM-BUM-BUM BUM-BUM-BUM BUM-BUM-BUM BUMMMMMMM...
Then they both join in, "MYYYYYYY BUNNNNNSSSSSS"
Noreen asks, "Are they singing what I think they are?"
"We both know it could be worse, dear."
"And is that like a...regression..."
"Major scale, we got that far and it took on a life of its own. I suppose it's quality time, this beast I helped create."
"At least they have a smidge of harmony."
Irene scoffs, "Now I remember why we didn't have company over that often in recent years."
Nick turns toward his gal, "And now for one special lady...one..two...three..." and then awkwardly taps out the bass riff for The Joker on the low keys, then the Brothers Swanson wail out the first verse, 'THEY CALL ME THE SPACE COW-BOYEEEE..."
Their mother recalls, "Oh yeah, he was messing with that recently...isn't it an old rock song?"
Noreen creeps up behind Nick and gives him the wedge of a lifetime.
As Nick struggles to get his situation back in order, Irene puts the brothers on immediate KP detail with inspection at 2030. She and Noreen head out to the garage and sneak a Coors out of Ned's little fridge then share it on the front porch.