Thursday October 8, 1992
"Didn't your brother get in trouble a lot?"
"Well, kinda, the dummy just doesn't always pick his moments."
Nick is driving an '83 Chevy 1500 pickup out I-70 toward Saint Lou. Shotgun is occupied by Dannielle the Deej with her hair protruding through the back of a pink Cubs hat. Riding the hump is a compact, rather attractive brunette named April, who has been pretty quiet and shy, which has Nick wondering.
The truck is titled to Ralph Eversole, Danni's granddad, who recently had some health challenges serious enough to sideline his participation but heartily offered its use if she could round up some help; that truck needs some miles on it anyway. They are making one last trip back to Astigal to get the last of her stuff, had to be on a weekday so Nick took one for the team with a no-pay, as if he has any real life expenses. Goody said they could use a break from him anyway.
Somehow the subject turned to Tim, and April seemed to tense up when they hit certain subjects.
"Such as?" Deej prods him on.
"Well...you know that thing in SNL with...Jane...Jane Curtain, she's doing the news discussion with...man, I think it's Akyroid."
"You'll have to help me out, I was banned from SNL."
"Of course."
April actually pipes up, "Jane you ignorant SLUT."
"YES!" Nick is all kinds of surprised. "My dumbass - that....Tim, picked that up somewhere, and we were in grade school so who knows, but one day his class gets an assistant from the high school named Jane..."
"He didn't."
"You know he did - the moment they introduced her."
"Your poor mother."
"Yeah she got a phone call pretty soon thereafter."
"What was the penalty?"
"Well he didn't seem to know where or from whom he picked that up - "
"Mister grammar there," another sign April is loosening up.
"Thank you, but yeah, she didn't know how to deal with it except the death penalty, no TV for a full month."
"A WHOLE month?" Deej teases as the girls look at each other.
"His Saturday mornings had to be in his room or outside, and since this was in the middle of winter it really sucked."
"I'm sure you never did anything like that."
"Okay...April?"
She keeps her head still and facing ahead. "Yes?"
"Was that you visiting my church that time, around third grade?"
Her head slowly turns his way with a blank look.
"If it was, I'm totally sorry." He glances at the road, then rear view, no other vehicles for a quarter mile each way, back at an April with eyebrows raised.
Deej breaks in, "What am I missing here?"
"Look..."
"Mmmmm hmmm, " she eggs on as April still expects something.
"I was coming down with a bad cold or flu, missed two days of school."
He glances at a smiling April, slightly more convincing than Mona Lisa.
"SWANSON?"
"I had this pocket of gas."
"God, Nick!" Deej turns toward her window trying to stifle a laugh.
"God had nothing to do with it. Any other time it would have been funny but this poor girl...I'll buy you lunch."
"Thank you, Nick."
He doesn't turn to her quick enough since she faces Deej and they read each other's minds for a second.
All he can say next is, "Karma, man."
The girls fall over each other laughing.
Not surprisingly, Noreen had wholeheartedly endorsed this trip. He had made his midweek venture to her place and they found it best to just chill out after raiding someone’s fridge for leftovers, then he left after she’d slept through about an hour of reruns.
After the great Archway comes and goes in the distance, Nick can't remember the last time he laid eyes on it, Deej kicks in with the navigation hints, evidently it's up in the marsh lands, nine miles from sin.
"They are so paranoid...obsessed...about morality, that's all you hear about in chapel, the RAs are always checking on us in our rooms and a lot of them quit after a while. Pretty sure the boys are afraid of having it chopped off if they have an impure thought."
"Is it the tiny guillotine on the altar?" Nick can't resist.
April tries to hide a snicker.
Deej just stares forward, grinning, "Now why didn't I think to make one?"
After a gradual descent off the beaten path they arrive at the gates. There's no sentiment to be lost as Deej navigates to the Physical Plant (which sounds kinda suggestive for this place) to check out her remaining belongings that her lunch gang were kind enough to help stow. The biggest piece is a nice futon (gift from the grandparents) which is easy enough to strap over the boxes.
Before long they are at a Denny's right off the interstate.
After ordering, Deej points out with a straight face, "Well we made it this far without saying asstickle."
"Too bad it's not a French tickle."
"APRIL MAY! GOD!" Deej is lit up like the Forth and surprisingly flushed.
"Is that really your full name?"
April just slowly turns his way with a wry grin.
"Thot so," is all he has. "That campus sure seems...quiet. Too quiet."
Deej just stares at the table so he lets it drop.
The girls share a huge plate of fries and Nick, seated across from them, gets some kind of slam with OJ, and picks up the check, as promised.
They step outside, Deej has the keys and lets April in and pulls Nick to the side, and embraces him gently. "Thanks so much, Nick. I always knew you were good for me."
Nick just squeezes her back, this is not a time for words.
She plants a genuine two-beat smooch on his left cheek, which is something since they are the same height unless she's slouching, seems like a tall-girl thing. She pulls back and looks at his face, "Dit-in, doat," which gets a laugh at a very old stupid joke he related one time, she must have been reminiscing.
He starts for the driver's door and gets stopped.
"You're done, doat, I'll get us back."
"Fair enough. Is this going to your grandparents?" Nick heads around back of the rig and realizes he hadn't yet gotten the details.
"Nope...her place."
As he buckles up, yet again the mouse-brown head turns his way with a blank look.
"Hon, I'm starting to wish they made a cartoon about you."
April wryly sticks out her tongue and slowly turns to Deej.
"Just how did you two meet, anyway?"
"In Nam."
"So...April, are you going to the Twig?"
She actually turns his way to answer, still with a wry grin, "I take classes, mostly at night."
"Wow, I even work there now and don't remember seeing you."
"But I've seen YOU," with a more intent expression.
"It's a conspiracy."
This gets him off the griddle, for the moment.
"Should I tell him?"
April looks her way as they're pulling out.
"I thought to call her the other day and catch up, turns out she's been helping out in the office at the family's roofing business -"
"Don't tell me...Dawson's?"
April glances at him.
"Winner winner. This gal is pretty much poised to take over little by little...."
April turns and flashes a crazy grin with Groucho eyebrows, Nick explodes.
"...and evidently I'm enough of a tomboy to be of use here and there. Are you even listing, dork?"
"Hey she's a nice girl, not a dork."
"Hit him."
April playfully swats his leg.
"No, no...girl, I've got to train you better."
"I'm still sore in that spot, Deej."
Deej laughs, "OH, man, you brought it up...."
And from there it goes, back over the river and cross the plains.
Sometime after the Illinois-side burbs fade into farmland, April yawns and leans on Nick's arm. He tries to catch Deej's eye but gets the sense he's being ignored. Oh well.
Eventually they make way to a house with a back building, about one sixth the size (that he can see) of the McDonnell plantation and to the south of the midway point between Jameson and campus.
After unloading Deej runs him back in her car.
"I'm not sure whether to be surprised that you're pretty much moved in out there."
She doesn't answer right away. "Same here."
"I wish it were easier, hon."
"I know."
"Sometimes space is the best ticket."
"You have it good, Nicky, how do you get along with your folks so well?"
"They pay me. Actually, now that you mention, I guess we got some things out of the way over the years, as you know."
"Yeah, I feel bad for giving in and shunning you after that."
"We were young."
"But you went for it, Nick."
"Yeah that took on a life of its own."
"I'll make it up to you, see if your gal-pal can babysit you this weekend sometime? I have an idea."
"My worlds are colliding."
She turns his way, "Usually I tell someone to put on a bra when they say that."
"Can I meet her?"
She just shakes her head with a sigh and they go on.
Nick reflects upon the day and almost dozes off when she pipes up, "Do you miss your arm-warmer yet?"
He just looks at her warily, "Watch out for potholes through here."
"I hear ya."