Sunday October 11, 1992
It's late morning and Nick is headed to pick up Deej, thinking how this will be one of his last hurrahs in the Cordoba.
He had slept in to find both the 'Renes had taken off on some Laverne and Shirley type of adventure, as he would quip. Ned was just heading up to meet an uncle and grandmother for a last minute thing, seems they all had a preference to get away from the house for a bit today.
Not the least of which, Nick was taking another look at the thing Deej handed him last night when she called and asked if they could go for a walk or something, which on a breezy fall day can only mean the trail at the campus.
He pulls up to the house and before he can kill the engine she pops out the front door in some well-worn jeans, light jacket and a white knit cap, a sight for sore eyes.
Before she reaches the door he sees an April in the window sticking her tongue out, he replies in kind and she disappears.
Deej climbs in, he reports, "Well I got a raspberry from your roommate."
"You're just a hit with the ladies aren't you?"
He ignores this and pulls out. She stays quiet so he glances over to find her staring and grinning.
"What?"
"Hi."
"Hi yourself."
She giggles.
Nick just keeps driving.
"You OK?"
"Yeah, just not used to doing so much on a weekend."
"Hmm, mister stay-at-home-and-twiddle-knobs."
"That's right."
She dangles her foot within the small amount of space allowed for those long athletic pins. "Did you get to read it all?"
"A couple times now, wow."
"I know I went off the deep end, just the best way I knew to organize it."
"Noreen said it's some of the best manuscript she's ever read, and that's from a freaking English teacher."
"Owww, I just hope it makes sense."
"Hon I think you expressed some things that I've been trying to for five years now, since that night."
She just looks at him.
He glances over to affirm.
"Well, can we leave it at that for now?"
"Sherbet."
She smiles, "God I've missed you."
"Have you ever walked at the campus?"
"Only been here once or twice, to take tests."
"Sounds right. I grew up coming out here for walks."
She just sighs as he pulls into the lot.
"I'm in that flat building back yonder."
"I'll remember that."
"Buuuuut...we're headed....here." He pulls right up to the wooden archway that announces the trail entrance, with the main path emerging from behind the library.
He gets out and she just stays put, smiling of course. Taking a cue he goes around and opens the door, offers his hand, she's definitely in high spirits.
She keeps his hand but without locking fingers, maybe that's a safe step. This is all so surreal still.
As soon as they get through the archway entrance to the trail she stops and squeezes him full-on with her head next to his, and with a gravelly Cookie Monster voice,
"FEEL THE BOOOBIES!"
Nick just sighs and gently squeezes her back as she giggles some more and pecks his cheek.
"We are finally ALONE."
"Wow, yeah."
She releases and looks at him from about five inches. He has trouble focusing and wonders if he should have brought his glasses, usually just for reading but he's not used to her ways. "You in there, Earth to Nick?"
"Just having trouble seeing you without glasses."
"It's OK, wow, like starting over."
"Picking up where we left off."
"Yeah. I'm not used to you without braces."
"Wow, yeah, that took a while to get me straightened out, into junior year. You were a lot easier right?"
"After the two teeth pulled, then that one set back they brought up, took two years."
"Lucky. I'm lucky."
"Don't count your eggs too soon, lady."
She just pauses. "Noreen confirmed what I always knew about you. How you respect women, try to think things through, good listener."
Nick looks to the side.
She continues, "This is all so weird for all of us, I get the sense she's handing you off to me...um...now that you've been with a woman, one hell of a woman, I can tell, not sure how I rate."
"Deej." He pulls her close. "That's it, you're the Deej. You're an institution."
She licks his ear and he jumps.
This gets a giggle. "Sorry to startle you, I need to slow down...but an institution? Do I look like a damn building?"
"Well, built like one, but you set so many standards."
"Nick. OH...." she stands in front of him, facing the same direction and points to something in the distance, "Can you see THAT without your glasses?"
"What?"
She blasts gas that he can feel from a couple inches away, and runs ahead laughing hysterically, then turns around to find him shaking his head.
He catches up and she takes his hand once again, "So...what was it, back at, what, that camp meeting?"
"Hmm?"
She draws a breath and tugs his arm once again for eye contact. "Just what made me stand out, with all those girls around."
"You're different."
"Nick -"
"Confident. Graceful."
She slips an arm and leans in and purposefully slows down their pace. "You just described Noreen."
"Yeah, but back then no one else - well, there was a vibe."
"A vibe huh?"
"Yeah, I just knew I should sit with you, and then you showed no mercy, like a wall I could never climb."
She looks up at him expectantly.
"There was something about you I could believe in, you stayed ahead of me. You weren't concerned with the stupid crap that girls usually talked about, you played ball - kicked ASS at ball, you could draw well, and you seemed to be a natural leader."
She squeezes tighter. "I need to hear this, Nick."
"Always loved your voice."
"It's the only one I got. What about it?"
"It's kind...sweet. Soothing…like that Heart song…um, These Dreams, with Nancy sings instead of Anne”.
"Umm, stop sucking up, you know I love that song…plus, why is this all about the inner stuff - HON..."
"Oh."
She stops and grabs his shoulders but keeps to the side, seeming to know the value of his peripheral vision, with a grin, "what about the physical?"
"That smile...or grin, means you're up to something."
"Nick, what else?"
"I could tell those legs went from here to Venus and back."
She squeezes him with more shoulder and much more sincerity than before, "There it is! MMMMMM..." And she wraps one of those pins around him, leans back, touches his face.
He feels like they will kiss at some point but this isn't the moment. He pulls her in and pecks her temple and starts a slow stroll on. The sun has peaked through a few times along with a brief break in the wind.
She's leaning on his shoulder.
He says, "I guess we really do get to continue on, I had always wondered, it just seemed impossible."
She ponders a minute and seems to itch her forehead against his shoulder, which means she's slouching.
"Nick, just so you know, I told my folks that either they drop the constant judgment or else I don't have parents."
He stops and looks at her.
She stares downward and takes a deep breath.
Nick slips his a hand beneath her cap.
She smiles and kisses his hand.
He realizes his sinus headache from last night is creeping back in. Tonight calls for as much rest as possible and probably tomorrow night to absorb all this.
He asks, "Are you planning to do sports?"
This brings her back a bit, "You know it, thought about trying hoops but never really made that commitment. Gonna call my old Karate school once I get some income."
"How about choir?"
"Maybe, gotta see how busy I'll be."
"Yeah."
They walk on, in no hurry, Deej asks "Do you want to know what I saw in you?"
"Well..."
"That's a deep subject. Well what?"
"I usually don't understand someone's answer to that."
She just shakes her head. "Shoulda seen that coming."
Pretty soon is a fork in the path. She looks up at him expectantly, he wisely says, "To the left is longer."
This gets the smile, then bit further, "Can I ask something personal?"
"What can it hurt?"
"How far have you gone, with a female?"
"Well about as far as you can get, physically, usually it sneaks up on me."
"Mmmhmm. Who was the first?"
"Well I count our little deal as a first."
"Nick."
"Alright…my first year here I spent the evening with a gal who worked in the snack bar, she's very sweet, and, well, older, and it just happened."
She stops walking with a bold look.
"Well you asked."
"So no one from high school or that store?"
"Oh please, that was...there was always a wall up, or, just, you know, blech."
This gets a deep breath. "Nick I've been living behind that wall...just as long if not longer. The expectations, the rules, the shame...."
"At least you can define your wall."
"Yeah you blew the hell out of your wall."
"We'll have to drink a toast to the wall."
She snickers, "Toast to the wall...Swanson..." then once again a hand squeeze and rests her head on his shoulder.
"What gave...that time at the party, God...I feel like an ass for being so amused but I had no idea you'd actually try that."
"Yeah it all seemed easy in my mind."
"I'd like you to succeed sometime."
"Deej -"
"Don't Deej me...I've talked to girls who tried it and love it."
"Deej -"
She looks down, squeezing his shoulders, "You're right, I'm getting ahead of things."
"It's OK."
She tears up. "Nick the furthest I got was...very...disappointing. He wasn't sure of himself at all, got into my bra some and we didn't even talk after that."
Nick grins.
"What?"
"You used to squeeze your chest into me didn't you, on purpose?"
She cracks up, "I wanted to give you something and that was, I mean, right in broad daylight."
"Even at your graduation thing."
"I couldn't resist. You seemed distracted."
"Well things were still weird, we hardly saw each other-"
"I get that, I kept hoping I'd run into your more but I just kept busy. But..." she leans on him, "Deep down you were my hero for taking a stand, even though it was at odds with everything I was supposed to believe, just glad I - OH."
"Hmmm?"
"Brace yourself "
His eyebrows raise.
"My sister is pregnant."
His eyes widen. "Little Sam?"
"Little Sam has been a big...that's another reason I came back, kicking myself for not being here, I would have wiped up the driveway with her stupid ass."
"No doubt."
She draws a huge breath, "My parents are too stuck in ideals to know what to do, I think they are reaching a moment of truth."
"Good Lord. I'm gonna have to soak tonight."
She lights up, "Need company?"
He looks the other way and she brings in another huge squeeze. "I'll try to behave but God I could pound you - SORRY, geez."
They are stopped and he squeezes back, "It's OK, I just need to catch my breath after this past week."
She leans on him. "You promise you won't forget I'm here?"
"Deej you've been a part of me all these years..."
She relaxes all her weight on him and they just hold this position.
In the distance they hear voices, he advises, "we got bogies on up ahead, the sunlight must have inspired someone."
"I'll try to behave then," and gooses his bum.
Nick jumps about mile.
"Are you always this tense?"
"Not used to being this close to a legend."
"Goddamn it Nick I'm a mortal…I’m a…girl, trying to learn the woman thing and hopefully one of your best friends."
"All that, and a legend still."
They start onto a thirty-foot wooden bridge over a dry creek and she looks at him with frustration.
"Do you have a personal mythos or something?"
"I suppose I do."
She looks ahead for a few steps, then, "Did you ever test as an introvert?"
"Yeah we did that Meyers - whatever, yeah I was an I for sure, could tell what the questions wanted me to say."
"And you know I'm kinda E right, even if just a smidge?"
"Kinda makes for a situation don’t it?"
"Don't you ever forget it."
The voices come into view and it's a grandma type with two grade-schoolers, and a rather gloomy junior high type moping about 15 feet behind her. Nick just smiles and Deej greets the younguns.
After they are out of earshot, she continues her interview, "So I'd imagine you're still not into kids?"
Nick fires right back, "I'd imagine you're not into astrology?"
This gets a droll look, "You rehearsed that answer didn't you?"
"That's the worst part about talking to most older folks, gotta have an answer ready."
"Well played."
"Howbout you?"
She takes her time answering. "I'm not ready to answer, especially with what my shithead sister pulled."
About this point Nick feels like he's confirmed some suspicions, that he's being handed back to this gal's sphere of influence, as his blond wonder has been a bit ambiguous about sticking around while pursuing her masters.
Being next to Deej is a mixture of old and new, plus the uncertainty, all in the right amounts. At least, close enough to guess the rest. There's no 'old shoe' to try on; they weren't steady so they never tried it on to begin with.
He realizes they are at a bend with just the rustling leaves in their ears, strolling along without a word the past couple of minutes. He slows down and the kiss happens before he knows it started. She coos, he can't resist slipping a hand behind her neck and another beneath her shirt, but leaves it there, well, maybe explore below the waist band to just the top of her cheeks, their tongues exchanging that silent succulent language, she has a leg around him again as he holds the balance, he might just feel a warm spot against his thigh but suddenly her pelvis twitches.
She disengages the lips and leans her forehead in, "Nmff."
They stand there and catch their breath as Nick scans his ears for distant voices, thankfully hearing none.
"I hope you're happy, my shorts are a disaster now."
"Complaining?
"How did you do that?"
"Hon it just happened."
"It just happened alright. This is a first, Bucko."
"Looks like we're meant to be close."
"We're something, and I owe you one."
"If it's what I think you mean, I already had my turn..."
She snorts and coughs with laughter, "I told you that doesn't count but we can work it out later."
"I need time."
"I know, but all the same, this is the best day I've had in years, just know that."
He kisses her lips again and lets her rest on him. Damn.
After a couple minutes she gives a squeeze and leads a slow stroll. She takes a deep breath, "Dear, my legs are quite rubbery, so if you can keep me steady can we get lunch?"
"We can hit the strip for whatever."
"Well, what time is it?"
Nick digs for his watch, a decent Timex he got from the 'rents a year or so ago. "Going on one."
"Wow we've been busy. I didn't want to have to go into town, can I get a raincheck?"
"Of course."
"You probably need introvert time and I still have to unpack."
"So is that house phone separate from the business?"
"Oh yeah, we can talk a little now and then."
"What if April answers?"
"You better be nice to her."
"What?"
"She really thinks well of you the way you handled things the other day."
"She's....something. Seriously how did you two meet?"
"Church camp, big surprise I know, over the years we hit it off, why do I get the introverts?"
"Should we fix her up with Vance?"
"Please, how would we get a word in edgewise?"
They laugh and then emerge from the woods behind the library building and remembers something he’d rather not right now, so they proceed in silence around the building and along the empty courtyard toward the starting point.
Eventually she continues, "That was so sweet of you to reach out to me in the spring, gave me hope when the funk was setting in."
"Yeah you seemed a bit distracted but I just figured you were busy."
"Well, at least now things are headed in the right direction, for me at least, no idea what do do 'bout my family."
"They grow up so fast, don't they."
She smacks his ass, "Get me to the car, dummy. Are you still trading the ole boy in?"
"Yeah that needs to happen."
"I should get mine looked at."
"Hold that thought."
"Hmm, OK?
Once there he lets her in, then himself and starts the journey, thinks to ask, "Is it relaxing where you stay there?"
"Great to be back out in the country, no more dorm sounds. The room is small but can't complain."
"Glad you landed in a soft spot."
She pauses, "Yeah, I tell myself that every day."
Nick keeps driving, and soon she asks, "Will you talk to Noreen soon?"
"She and Mom went somewhere this morning, breakfast I spose, so yeah."
"Thank her for me?"
He looks at her, "Ok."
“OH…oh oh oh…did you ever meet back up with Geeeee-na? OH, wait, did I hear she got hitched?”
“That one, yeah she got engaged just a few months after we went out, they have a kid or two according to the Christmas cards, she still looks great.”
“None of that surprises me, she’s a sweetie.”
Deej keeps looking out the window, wistfully for all he knows, and they finish the journey in quiet contemplation, she wastes no time, "OK no long goodbyes, call me this week?"
"We'll see," he gives a grin.
"Bye, thanks hon," she pecks him quickly and gets out runs to the door, opens it up, turns to see him watching and gives a goofy look, then pops into the house.
Nick feels a sense of relief to be back within his own space but so good to share it with her for a while, and on their own terms.
Anything is possible.
In a few minutes he pulls into the drive next to his next vehicle, which will undergo a final checkout and some detailing. In return, Bart gets the 'Doba for his nefarious purposes (involving a 383, his favorite Mopar mill) and promises Nick and Ned a ride in the finished product one of these days. Noreen gets a newer Pontiac that will help support her new ventures, bittersweet as they may be.
He finds Noreen sitting on the sofa staring into space, in jeans and a thin green hoodie. She smiles a little and they head to the front porch, and she starts in, "Details, man!"
"She farted on me and then later on we shared a moment."
This gets the expected huge laugh. "Why can I never think of that!"
"What did you gals end up doing?"
"We visited my mom."
"Oh wow, how is she?"
"About the same, but Irene wanted to be prepared, you know, and it was very nice."
"Yeah."
Time to face the elephant in the room.
He starts, "Um..."
"Yes, dear."
"Do you have to go to main campus soon?"
She looks down and pauses, "I've put off finding out. But I'm starting to suspect so. They haven't scheduled me for anything here for winter."
"Oh."
"Yeah. I need to get that clarified tomorrow. You know, I'd have to be in place in December."
Nick pauses, "Will you need help with anything?"
She looks at him in the way she does when he needs to think it through.
"You're gonna tell me to watch out for Deej."
She leans in, kisses his cheek, and leans on his shoulder.
"She wanted me to say thank you, by the way."
Noreen snorts a giggle, "OK."
"It's a girl thing?"
"Something like that. Hold on to her, stallion, you dig?"
"Right now my goal is to soak in the tub and not," looks around, "well, try to avoid certain situations for a while."
"Speaking of..." and she tears up.
Nick just waits.
"We should probably...."
"Yeah, take a pause."
She sighs. "That's a good way to say it."
He plants one on her scalp.
"If it's easier, I'll keep in touch with your mom for the most part, but I hope to run into you at the school, we got a few lunches left I hope?"
"Of course."
"And the cars - you still want that piece of sh- I mean, that fine machine?"
"Stop it, yeah, I need to downsize and that one's been well maintained."
"You know me, drive it like ya stole it."
"Yeah yeah. OH...Deej said she wants her Pontiac looked at -"
Noreen sits up and looks at him, channeling Eric Idle, "Say no more say no MOAH, that just became a condition - give me her number before I leave, got it?"
"Got it."
From the house Irene announces sandwiches.
They get up and she grabs his hand on the way in, a sign of unity.
"Everything OK?" Irene is obviously in on the big picture.
They look at each other and in unison, "Yep."
They consume lunch and Noreen gathers her stuff to head home, in some strange way all seems right.
But, still...
Nick walks her out and remembers to ask, "Any updates on our Doris?"
"Oh yeah, Sandy is helping her get to a doctor's appointment, we're hoping for the best."
They look at each other more deeply than in a long time.
He steps in, he realizes, a bit selfishly out of being tired but it seems right, "Be careful and talk soon, my dear."
"I meant it when I said I love you last night."
"I know, and you'll always be that mystical being that shows up at just the right time."
She smiles and gets slightly flushed, "Oh go on," leans in for a two-beat kiss, and gets in the Celica.
Nick sees her off with a wave and heads in.
Irene greets her boy with a squeeze. "You're handling this well, Nick."
"Mom I'm not just sure what I'm handling."
She leans back and looks him in the face, "Who ever does? Things will be just fine."
"I know, are you OK?"
"Getting there."
"I need to go rest."
"Good idea, sport."
He pecks her on the forehead then starts a bath and gets in just as the water starts, helps to acclimate. Nothing resets the being like a decent soak. At one point he had tried Epsom salt but that seemed to cause need for more maintenance with the buildup, so now it's just a peppermint bath oil someone found, not bad, just not too much or it makes the water feel cold.
He tries not to use too much water and kills it with a foot. Muscles are a tad tight from the stroll and related activities. God, four women in a week, to some degree.
Still, leave it to Deej, the simply indelible. Almost too convenient that they left off in no formal state, no precedent. Today took him by surprise as he almost finds the idea of intimate contact a bit repugnant at this time, she's still off limits in a sacred sense and that's not a wall one charges over.
But they sure connect in the intangible ways, may the circle go unbroken, and that's what we go with for the purposes of this particular soak. He wonders at what point bosoms lost their blanket appeal as stimulation; probably when hearing of his brother's tryst at the campground, yeesh.
The rest of the day includes some modem time, 2D game on the P35 all while listening to some casual Morse conversations in the usual haunts on the dial. These days even some of the faster ragchews are easier to follow, at least here and there.
Selfishly he hopes no one calls this evening and, with a twinge of regret, gets his wish.
Eventually he puts on some classical from the powerful University station up where Noreen is probably headed, yet, still finds it soothing, and drifts off, with the sense that he suddenly has one hell of a poker hand and it’s probably time to slide the chips in.