That's The Ticket

Monday October 12, 1992

After a very uneventful start to the week Nick arrives home, checks the counter and finds an envelope addressed to him from Gettysburg PA: his ticket to radio adventures.

Up in his lair he carefully peels it open, unfolds, and finally knows his own call sign. N9YEW. Rhymes with Paps' hallowed call and could not be a better tribute. Suddenly he has the urge to show up at one of those club meetings on Tuesday night, would have to listen to repeater nets. OOH he can check into those now, well, might need a VHF antenna. We'll see.

Naturally it's time to flip on the rig, but, well, let's rest up first. Time to crack a window, it's rainy but warm, and stretch out and sum up a little. Definitely need to call the Deej at some point. 

He drifts off a bit then gets jarred awake by the call to dinner around 6. Ned seems a little choked up hearing about the ticket arriving.

"Well don't be a lid, is that the term?"

"Oh yeah."

Irene, "Paps is celebrating up above, you know that."

"Yeah."

And it wasn't long before he was upstairs twiddling knobs right around 7110 kHz, where the noobs fumble about. Everything is in place, just need to plug in the dipole and get 'er tuned. He had already messed with a noise bridge (with the help of the shelf of books Paps left) and it seemed like tuning won't be a problem, time to check his work.

He had also figured out how to rig things up to tune with a straight key then still use the paddle and keyer for business, which seemed favorable to some of the tuneups he heard with a series of dihs or dahs.

So here goes, quiet spot on 7.112.5 on the 745's dial, power knob at low, hits the key and the meters jump. Tries a few more beeps and twiddles the tuner knobs but no change. Oh yeah, need to pull the knob on this tuner for SWR readout, derp; he'd practiced with a dummy load once.

After pulling that knob and turning it to max range it's making sense, and before long we have the magic formula of Inductor E, Antenna 5, Transmitter 3.5 on the dials which he quickly writes down. 

Next is the part with the keyer, which should already be set at a comfortable copying speed of around 8 words/minute, even though he's surely copied a lot faster (thanks largely to repetition...) when monitoring contests. After a deep breath, the debut transmission,

"QRL? QRL?", to check for a clear frequency, then "CQ CQ DE N9YEW N9YEW"

After a sigh of relief Nick remembers that he's still at low power, or QRP. 

Also...this keyer needs to be set slightly faster, oh yeah, the code practice transmissions have longer beeps just spaced out more, or, well, the letters are spaced out more, something like that.

So now the keyer is up to about 15 words but that means he has to keep the sending down to what he can read; a challenge one can't resist.

OK, so we tune for just half the available power, about 50 watts, best to leave more in case you need it, but the previous tuning was just fine for 50.

Once more we repeat the QRL and hail. Nothing heard. Then again. After a pause he does the 3x3 instead of 2x2, might be easier to catch when spinning the dial.

Then off in the distance he hears some code but deeper than his radio's side tone, but hears his own call so fumbles for the paper, sure enough, he's being called, slowly, by a KB8 prefix, off to the east it would seem?

For the next 25 minutes or so, somehow he remembered to note the time from the clock, or at least close, he was exchanging pleasantries with Bill up in northern Michigan, also just licensed but got his Novice ticket (fewer privileges than his) in July and running a full 100 watts but with a vertical which would explain the strong signal reports, both 579, and no QSB (fade), strongest possible report is 599, maybe with a PLUS to indicate a high reading on the meter.

Nick was determined to not end the conversation and let Bill say 73 first, by which time he was sweaty and dry in the mouth, but what a way to get there. Bill slips in a PSE QSL which means he has to find his address in a call book, he may have to wait till he can find one in a library that's up to date. Unless, of course, Bill beats him to it and sends the card first.

Oh man, he will have to get cards printed, or else make his own in Word Perfect. Now that could be a creative outlet on slow days at the ol’ office.

So he heads downstairs to get a fresh mug of water to be greeted by "Danni called." Oh yeah, the phone had rung at some point.

Ned rewards word of the inaugural contact with a "At's mah boy."

Once upstairs, and with a background twinge of that same beckoning energy from the classic era with this gal, he tries the number, asks for Danni, and gets,

"Who's this?" Pretty sure it's an April.

Grabbing the first name from the headlines that comes to mind, it takes on a life, in his best twang, "It's Ross Perot, can I count on your vote young lady?"

"This better not be Nick?"

Back to his own voice, "What if it is?"

He hears a sigh, and after a couple of seconds, "WHAT are you doing?"

"Just worked my first station, up in Michigan."

"Why did...oh the radio?"

"Yeap it arrived today - the license."

"Oh cool, it's about time."

"Yeah they were backed up."

"Hmmm, not gonna touch that one."

"Yeah yeah."

"SO...I got a call today, from McDonnells and they want to look at my car - is that like Noreen's gang?"

"Yes it is, wow, she said that would be a...a condition for trading the cars."

"What?"

"You'd have to know how that family works, I happened to mention yours needed a checkup and here we are."

"Oh..."

"Just call when you can, knowing Bart he will do whatever it takes to make the deal go through, he wants my car in an unholy way."

"Oh, really? Just seems strange."

"Not to a car guy, trust me."

"Well with this rain we aren't working tomorrow so I'll call in the morning."

"Yeah I would, you might get a free oil change, maybe more."

"Nick this is great, thanks for thinking of me."

"Well it's rewards for paying your dues."

"Heh. Well tell her thanks."

"Soitenly, we'll probably get lunch this week."

"So how was your day?"

"Pretty slow till I got home."

"Yeah same here, I just mostly caught up on stuff while it's raining."

"So you'll be on the roof with a bunch of smelly guys?"

"Pretty much, I guess it goes quickly with a good crew, not too worried."

"There's worse ways to get through college."

"Well, for now."

"Yeah."

"So, if I may ask, are you happy living at home still?"

"As you say, for now."

"Touche."

"Later."

"You wish."

Nick pauses to reflect upon how they still banter when she’s feeling feisty. "At this point I need a place with antennas."

"Your HEAD needs antennas. So...once you land a dream job, who are you gonna share that success with?"

"Lonely women."

"Nick I swear you are the best of the worst."

"And are you gonna teach?"

"Please, thinking more like sports med, they will have the entire program here soon."

"So you'd get to tape up those football players with bulging muscles?"

"Bite me. Hold on a sec..." and the background noise fades away. "Alright, dork...thanks for yesterday."

"Yeah that was pretty awesome."

"Why?"

"You were there."

She pauses. "That moment was both a relief and kinda scary at the same time..."

"Any regrets?"

"Nick, of course not. I would ask you the same thing."

"I could never regret quality time with you."

"You just got a trademark smile, mister."

"We all have a lot to figure out these days."

"Some of us more than others it seems."

"In time, dear."

"Once I get some cash I'll apply to the twig, get my transcripts and all that jazz."

"I'll spot you that, as a loan -"

"Nick, I can't ask....wait, just how would I repay it?"

"Do you cook?"

"Does a deer shit in the woods?"

"There ya go, sport."

"Nick, you're the best."

"I don't consider myself the best, but I just fill in while he's on assignment."

He hears a resigned sigh, then, "Tell me...what do you think of fair April?"

"Very fair indeed. Impressive, to say the least. Like having a bonus babe around."

This gets a laugh, "I'll have to pass that along. You realize she's fair game, right?"

"I'm not feeling very game these days."

She pauses. "I know, but...still, she's like me, never really dated much."

"Does it come down to purpose?"

"Well...someone's been thinking."

"Soak in the tub does wonders."

"Mmmm....umm, that made my mind wonder...dang...but yeah, I get it, might have to try that for more than just sore muscles."

"Works just as well for sore mind."

"God Nick, when did you get so zen?"

"Bathing, riding the bike, driving..."

"Point well taken. I don't give myself enough think time."

"And that's what's wrong with the world."

"Alright smart guy, I don't wanna tie up the line -"

"Hey if you take your car over can you stop by the school?"

"Yeah, we'll try to."

"I want you to be able to do the transcripts, and can you get a ride out there to drop it off?"'

"Oh, well, I think Apeface can follow me out, maybe we can get lunch on the way back?"

"Perfect, my extension is 184 from the EIT switchboard, they have my name too if you can believe."

"Got it...well thanx for calling me back, HON."

"See you tomorrow I hope."

"We'll see, night."

"Nite you."

And with that, Nick has managed two mellow evenings in a row, well, mellow with perks.

The Campus Trail

Sunday October 11, 1992

It's late morning and Nick is headed to pick up Deej, thinking how this will be one of his last hurrahs in the Cordoba.

He had slept in to find both the 'Renes had taken off on some Laverne and Shirley type of adventure, as he would quip. Ned was just heading up to meet an uncle and grandmother for a last minute thing, seems they all had a preference to get away from the house for a bit today.

Not the least of which, Nick was taking another look at the thing Deej handed him last night when she called and asked if they could go for a walk or something, which on a breezy fall day can only mean the trail at the campus.

He pulls up to the house and before he can kill the engine she pops out the front door in some well-worn jeans, light jacket and a white knit cap, a sight for sore eyes.

Before she reaches the door he sees an April in the window sticking her tongue out, he replies in kind and she disappears.

Deej climbs in, he reports, "Well I got a raspberry from your roommate."

"You're just a hit with the ladies aren't you?"

He ignores this and pulls out. She stays quiet so he glances over to find her staring and grinning.

"What?"

"Hi."

"Hi yourself."

She giggles.

Nick just keeps driving.

"You OK?"

"Yeah, just not used to doing so much on a weekend."

"Hmm, mister stay-at-home-and-twiddle-knobs."

"That's right."

She dangles her foot within the small amount of space allowed for those long athletic pins. "Did you get to read it all?"

"A couple times now, wow."

"I know I went off the deep end, just the best way I knew to organize it."

"Noreen said it's some of the best manuscript she's ever read, and that's from a freaking English teacher."

"Owww, I just hope it makes sense."

"Hon I think you expressed some things that I've been trying to for five years now, since that night."

She just looks at him.

He glances over to affirm.

"Well, can we leave it at that for now?"

"Sherbet."

She smiles, "God I've missed you."

"Have you ever walked at the campus?"

"Only been here once or twice, to take tests."

"Sounds right. I grew up coming out here for walks."

She just sighs as he pulls into the lot.

"I'm in that flat building back yonder."

"I'll remember that."

"Buuuuut...we're headed....here." He pulls right up to the wooden archway that announces the trail entrance, with the main path emerging from behind the library.

He gets out and she just stays put, smiling of course. Taking a cue he goes around and opens the door, offers his hand, she's definitely in high spirits.

She keeps his hand but without locking fingers, maybe that's a safe step. This is all so surreal still.

As soon as they get through the archway entrance to the trail she stops and squeezes him full-on with her head next to his, and with a gravelly Cookie Monster voice, 

"FEEL THE BOOOBIES!"

Nick just sighs and gently squeezes her back as she giggles some more and pecks his cheek.

"We are finally ALONE."

"Wow, yeah."

She releases and looks at him from about five inches. He has trouble focusing and wonders if he should have brought his glasses, usually just for reading but he's not used to her ways. "You in there, Earth to Nick?"

"Just having trouble seeing you without glasses."

"It's OK, wow, like starting over."

"Picking up where we left off."

"Yeah. I'm not used to you without braces."

"Wow, yeah, that took a while to get me straightened out, into junior year. You were a lot easier right?"

"After the two teeth pulled, then that one set back they brought up, took two years."

"Lucky. I'm lucky."

"Don't count your eggs too soon, lady."

She just pauses. "Noreen confirmed what I always knew about you. How you respect women, try to think things through, good listener."

Nick looks to the side.

She continues, "This is all so weird for all of us, I get the sense she's handing you off to me...um...now that you've been with a woman, one hell of a woman, I can tell, not sure how I rate."

"Deej." He pulls her close. "That's it, you're the Deej. You're an institution."

She licks his ear and he jumps.

This gets a giggle. "Sorry to startle you, I need to slow down...but an institution? Do I look like a damn building?"

"Well, built like one, but you set so many standards."

"Nick. OH...." she stands in front of him, facing the same direction and points to something in the distance, "Can you see THAT without your glasses?"

"What?"

She blasts gas that he can feel from a couple inches away, and runs ahead laughing hysterically, then turns around to find him shaking his head.

He catches up and she takes his hand once again, "So...what was it, back at, what, that camp meeting?"

"Hmm?"

She draws a breath and tugs his arm once again for eye contact. "Just what made me stand out, with all those girls around."

"You're different."

"Nick -"

"Confident. Graceful."

She slips an arm and leans in and purposefully slows down their pace. "You just described Noreen."

"Yeah, but back then no one else - well, there was a vibe."

"A vibe huh?"

"Yeah, I just knew I should sit with you, and then you showed no mercy, like a wall I could never climb."

She looks up at him expectantly.

"There was something about you I could believe in, you stayed ahead of me. You weren't concerned with the stupid crap that girls usually talked about, you played ball - kicked ASS at ball, you could draw well, and you seemed to be a natural leader."

She squeezes tighter. "I need to hear this, Nick."

"Always loved your voice."

"It's the only one I got. What about it?"

"It's kind...sweet. Soothing…like that Heart song…um, These Dreams, with Nancy sings instead of Anne”.

"Umm, stop sucking up, you know I love that song…plus, why is this all about the inner stuff - HON..."

"Oh."

She stops and grabs his shoulders but keeps to the side, seeming to know the value of his peripheral vision, with a grin, "what about the physical?"

"That smile...or grin, means you're up to something."

"Nick, what else?"

"I could tell those legs went from here to Venus and back."

She squeezes him with more shoulder and much more sincerity than before, "There it is! MMMMMM..." And she wraps one of those pins around him, leans back, touches his face.

He feels like they will kiss at some point but this isn't the moment. He pulls her in and pecks her temple and starts a slow stroll on. The sun has peaked through a few times along with a brief break in the wind.

She's leaning on his shoulder.

He says, "I guess we really do get to continue on, I had always wondered, it just seemed impossible."

She ponders a minute and seems to itch her forehead against his shoulder, which means she's slouching.

"Nick, just so you know, I told my folks that either they drop the constant judgment or else I don't have parents."

He stops and looks at her.

She stares downward and takes a deep breath. 

Nick slips his a hand beneath her cap.

She smiles and kisses his hand.

He realizes his sinus headache from last night is creeping back in. Tonight calls for as much rest as possible and probably tomorrow night to absorb all this.

He asks, "Are you planning to do sports?"

This brings her back a bit, "You know it, thought about trying hoops but never really made that commitment. Gonna call my old Karate school once I get some income."

"How about choir?"

"Maybe, gotta see how busy I'll be."

"Yeah."

They walk on, in no hurry, Deej asks "Do you want to know what I saw in you?"

"Well..."

"That's a deep subject. Well what?"

"I usually don't understand someone's answer to that."

She just shakes her head. "Shoulda seen that coming."

Pretty soon is a fork in the path. She looks up at him expectantly, he wisely says, "To the left is longer."

This gets the smile, then bit further, "Can I ask something personal?"

"What can it hurt?"

"How far have you gone, with a female?"

"Well about as far as you can get, physically, usually it sneaks up on me."

"Mmmhmm. Who was the first?"

"Well I count our little deal as a first."

"Nick."

"Alright…my first year here I spent the evening with a gal who worked in the snack bar, she's very sweet, and, well, older, and it just happened."

She stops walking with a bold look.

"Well you asked."

"So no one from high school or that store?"

"Oh please, that was...there was always a wall up, or, just, you know, blech."

This gets a deep breath. "Nick I've been living behind that wall...just as long if not longer. The expectations, the rules, the shame...."

"At least you can define your wall."

"Yeah you blew the hell out of your wall."

"We'll have to drink a toast to the wall."

She snickers, "Toast to the wall...Swanson..." then once again a hand squeeze and rests her head on his shoulder. 

"What gave...that time at the party, God...I feel like an ass for being so amused but I had no idea you'd actually try that."

"Yeah it all seemed easy in my mind."

"I'd like you to succeed sometime."

"Deej -"

"Don't Deej me...I've talked to girls who tried it and love it."

"Deej -"

She looks down, squeezing his shoulders, "You're right, I'm getting ahead of things."

"It's OK."

She tears up. "Nick the furthest I got was...very...disappointing. He wasn't sure of himself at all, got into my bra some and we didn't even talk after that."

Nick grins. 

"What?"

"You used to squeeze your chest into me didn't you, on purpose?"

She cracks up, "I wanted to give you something and that was, I mean, right in broad daylight."

"Even at your graduation thing."

"I couldn't resist. You seemed distracted."

"Well things were still weird, we hardly saw each other-"

"I get that, I kept hoping I'd run into your more but I just kept busy. But..." she leans on him, "Deep down you were my hero for taking a stand, even though it was at odds with everything I was supposed to believe, just glad I - OH."

"Hmmm?"

"Brace yourself "

His eyebrows raise.

"My sister is pregnant."

His eyes widen. "Little Sam?"

"Little Sam has been a big...that's another reason I came back, kicking myself for not being here, I would have wiped up the driveway with her stupid ass."

"No doubt."

She draws a huge breath, "My parents are too stuck in ideals to know what to do, I think they are reaching a moment of truth."

"Good Lord. I'm gonna have to soak tonight."

She lights up, "Need company?"

He looks the other way and she brings in another huge squeeze. "I'll try to behave but God I could pound you - SORRY, geez."

They are stopped and he squeezes back, "It's OK, I just need to catch my breath after this past week."

She leans on him. "You promise you won't forget I'm here?"

"Deej you've been a part of me all these years..."

She relaxes all her weight on him and they just hold this position. 

In the distance they hear voices, he advises, "we got bogies on up ahead, the sunlight must have inspired someone."

"I'll try to behave then," and gooses his bum.

Nick jumps about mile.

"Are you always this tense?"

"Not used to being this close to a legend."

"Goddamn it Nick I'm a mortal…I’m a…girl, trying to learn the woman thing and hopefully one of your best friends."

"All that, and a legend still."

They start onto a thirty-foot wooden bridge over a dry creek and she looks at him with frustration.

"Do you have a personal mythos or something?"

"I suppose I do."

She looks ahead for a few steps, then, "Did you ever test as an introvert?"

"Yeah we did that Meyers - whatever, yeah I was an I for sure, could tell what the questions wanted me to say."

"And you know I'm kinda E right, even if just a smidge?"

"Kinda makes for a situation don’t it?"

"Don't you ever forget it."

The voices come into view and it's a grandma type with two grade-schoolers, and a rather gloomy junior high type moping about 15 feet behind her. Nick just smiles and Deej greets the younguns.

After they are out of earshot, she continues her interview, "So I'd imagine you're still not into kids?"

Nick fires right back, "I'd imagine you're not into astrology?"

This gets a droll look, "You rehearsed that answer didn't you?"

"That's the worst part about talking to most older folks, gotta have an answer ready."

"Well played."

"Howbout you?"

She takes her time answering. "I'm not ready to answer, especially with what my shithead sister pulled."

About this point Nick feels like he's confirmed some suspicions, that he's being handed back to this gal's sphere of influence, as his blond wonder has been a bit ambiguous about sticking around while pursuing her masters.

Being next to Deej is a mixture of old and new, plus the uncertainty, all in the right amounts. At least, close enough to guess the rest. There's no 'old shoe' to try on; they weren't steady so they never tried it on to begin with.

He realizes they are at a bend with just the rustling leaves in their ears, strolling along without a word the past couple of minutes. He slows down and the kiss happens before he knows it started. She coos, he can't resist slipping a hand behind her neck and another beneath her shirt, but leaves it there, well, maybe explore below the waist band to just the top of her cheeks, their tongues exchanging that silent succulent language, she has a leg around him again as he holds the balance, he might just feel a warm spot against his thigh but suddenly her pelvis twitches.

She disengages the lips and leans her forehead in, "Nmff."

They stand there and catch their breath as Nick scans his ears for distant voices, thankfully hearing none.

"I hope you're happy, my shorts are a disaster now."

"Complaining?

"How did you do that?"

"Hon it just happened."

"It just happened alright. This is a first, Bucko."

"Looks like we're meant to be close."

"We're something, and I owe you one."

"If it's what I think you mean, I already had my turn..."

She snorts and coughs with laughter, "I told you that doesn't count but we can work it out later."

"I need time."

"I know, but all the same, this is the best day I've had in years, just know that."

He kisses her lips again and lets her rest on him. Damn.

After a couple minutes she gives a squeeze and leads a slow stroll. She takes a deep breath, "Dear, my legs are quite rubbery, so if you can keep me steady can we get lunch?"

"We can hit the strip for whatever."

"Well, what time is it?"

Nick digs for his watch, a decent Timex he got from the 'rents a year or so ago. "Going on one."

"Wow we've been busy. I didn't want to have to go into town, can I get a raincheck?"

"Of course."

"You probably need introvert time and I still have to unpack."

"So is that house phone separate from the business?"

"Oh yeah, we can talk a little now and then."

"What if April answers?"

"You better be nice to her."

"What?"

"She really thinks well of you the way you handled things the other day."

"She's....something. Seriously how did you two meet?"

"Church camp, big surprise I know, over the years we hit it off, why do I get the introverts?"

"Should we fix her up with Vance?"

"Please, how would we get a word in edgewise?"

They laugh and then emerge from the woods behind the library building and remembers something he’d rather not right now, so they proceed in silence around the building and along the empty courtyard toward the starting point.

Eventually she continues, "That was so sweet of you to reach out to me in the spring, gave me hope when the funk was setting in."

"Yeah you seemed a bit distracted but I just figured you were busy."

"Well, at least now things are headed in the right direction, for me at least, no idea what do do 'bout my family."

"They grow up so fast, don't they."

She smacks his ass, "Get me to the car, dummy. Are you still trading the ole boy in?"

"Yeah that needs to happen."

"I should get mine looked at."

"Hold that thought."

"Hmm, OK?

Once there he lets her in, then himself and starts the journey, thinks to ask, "Is it relaxing where you stay there?"

"Great to be back out in the country, no more dorm sounds. The room is small but can't complain."

"Glad you landed in a soft spot."

She pauses, "Yeah, I tell myself that every day."

Nick keeps driving, and soon she asks, "Will you talk to Noreen soon?"

"She and Mom went somewhere this morning, breakfast I spose, so yeah."

"Thank her for me?"

He looks at her, "Ok."

“OH…oh oh oh…did you ever meet back up with Geeeee-na? OH, wait, did I hear she got hitched?”

“That one, yeah she got engaged just a few months after we went out, they have a kid or two according to the Christmas cards, she still looks great.”

“None of that surprises me, she’s a sweetie.”

Deej keeps looking out the window, wistfully for all he knows, and they finish the journey in quiet contemplation, she wastes no time, "OK no long goodbyes, call me this week?"

"We'll see," he gives a grin.

"Bye, thanks hon," she pecks him quickly and gets out runs to the door, opens it up, turns to see him watching and gives a goofy look, then pops into the house.

Nick feels a sense of relief to be back within his own space but so good to share it with her for a while, and on their own terms. 

Anything is possible.

In a few minutes he pulls into the drive next to his next vehicle, which will undergo a final checkout and some detailing. In return, Bart gets the 'Doba for his nefarious purposes (involving a 383, his favorite Mopar mill) and promises Nick and Ned a ride in the finished product one of these days. Noreen gets a newer Pontiac that will help support her new ventures, bittersweet as they may be.

He finds Noreen sitting on the sofa staring into space, in jeans and a thin green hoodie. She smiles a little and they head to the front porch, and she starts in, "Details, man!"

"She farted on me and then later on we shared a moment."

This gets the expected huge laugh. "Why can I never think of that!"

"What did you gals end up doing?"

"We visited my mom."

"Oh wow, how is she?"

"About the same, but Irene wanted to be prepared, you know, and it was very nice."

"Yeah."

Time to face the elephant in the room.

He starts, "Um..."

"Yes, dear."

"Do you have to go to main campus soon?"

She looks down and pauses, "I've put off finding out. But I'm starting to suspect so. They haven't scheduled me for anything here for winter."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I need to get that clarified tomorrow. You know, I'd have to be in place in December."

Nick pauses, "Will you need help with anything?"

She looks at him in the way she does when he needs to think it through.

"You're gonna tell me to watch out for Deej."

She leans in, kisses his cheek, and leans on his shoulder.

"She wanted me to say thank you, by the way."

Noreen snorts a giggle, "OK."

"It's a girl thing?"

"Something like that. Hold on to her, stallion, you dig?"

"Right now my goal is to soak in the tub and not," looks around, "well, try to avoid certain situations for a while."

"Speaking of..." and she tears up. 

Nick just waits.

"We should probably...."

"Yeah, take a pause."

She sighs. "That's a good way to say it."

He plants one on her scalp.

"If it's easier, I'll keep in touch with your mom for the most part, but I hope to run into you at the school, we got a few lunches left I hope?"

"Of course."

"And the cars - you still want that piece of sh- I mean, that fine machine?"

"Stop it, yeah, I need to downsize and that one's been well maintained."

"You know me, drive it like ya stole it."

"Yeah yeah. OH...Deej said she wants her Pontiac looked at -"

Noreen sits up and looks at him, channeling Eric Idle, "Say no more say no MOAH, that just became a condition - give me her number before I leave, got it?"

"Got it."

From the house Irene announces sandwiches.

They get up and she grabs his hand on the way in, a sign of unity.

"Everything OK?" Irene is obviously in on the big picture.

They look at each other and in unison, "Yep."

They consume lunch and Noreen gathers her stuff to head home, in some strange way all seems right. 

But, still...

Nick walks her out and remembers to ask, "Any updates on our Doris?"

"Oh yeah, Sandy is helping her get to a doctor's appointment, we're hoping for the best."

They look at each other more deeply than in a long time. 

He steps in, he realizes, a bit selfishly out of being tired but it seems right, "Be careful and talk soon, my dear."

"I meant it when I said I love you last night."

"I know, and you'll always be that mystical being that shows up at just the right time."

She smiles and gets slightly flushed, "Oh go on," leans in for a two-beat kiss, and gets in the Celica. 

Nick sees her off with a wave and heads in.

Irene greets her boy with a squeeze. "You're handling this well, Nick."

"Mom I'm not just sure what I'm handling."

She leans back and looks him in the face, "Who ever does? Things will be just fine."

"I know, are you OK?"

"Getting there."

"I need to go rest."

"Good idea, sport."

He pecks her on the forehead then starts a bath and gets in just as the water starts, helps to acclimate. Nothing resets the being like a decent soak. At one point he had tried Epsom salt but that seemed to cause need for more maintenance with the buildup, so now it's just a peppermint bath oil someone found, not bad, just not too much or it makes the water feel cold.

He tries not to use too much water and kills it with a foot. Muscles are a tad tight from the stroll and related activities. God, four women in a week, to some degree. 

Still, leave it to Deej, the simply indelible. Almost too convenient that they left off in no formal state, no precedent. Today took him by surprise as he almost finds the idea of intimate contact a bit repugnant at this time, she's still off limits in a sacred sense and that's not a wall one charges over.

But they sure connect in the intangible ways, may the circle go unbroken, and that's what we go with for the purposes of this particular soak. He wonders at what point bosoms lost their blanket appeal as stimulation; probably when hearing of his brother's tryst at the campground, yeesh.

The rest of the day includes some modem time, 2D game on the P35 all while listening to some casual Morse conversations in the usual haunts on the dial. These days even some of the faster ragchews are easier to follow, at least here and there.

Selfishly he hopes no one calls this evening and, with a twinge of regret, gets his wish. 

Eventually he puts on some classical from the powerful University station up where Noreen is probably headed, yet, still finds it soothing, and drifts off, with the sense that he suddenly has one hell of a poker hand and it’s probably time to slide the chips in.

Lombos

Saturday October 10 1992

Nick and Noreen arrive at Lombardo's on the main drag just a tad before 7. She couldn't resist a skirt and he couldn't resist an untucked shirt, so they're even. She's been growing out the bangs lately so she parts it wherever convenient and Nick has to look for her eyes.

After a word with the hostess they make it back to find Deej standing near a table and talking to a woman Nick doesn’t know. Deej sees them and lights up, lightly made up, hair pinned in an updated version of her classic look. 

The other gal excuses herself and Deej walks toward to Noreen, "I'm Danni, Deejay, whatever, so glad to meet you finally! Just sorry you couldn't find a better date."

Noreen just beams. "You know how it is, all the good ones are taken...," she looks at Nick, "....or worse."

From there these colliding planets just lock eyes and exchange data telepathically as Nick finds a chair. "Is this us?"

Deej turns around, "Yipper doo, Scooby Doo, you two pick a side?"

The choice gets made for him as the gals sit down and start in. Nick takes a minute to look around, hadn't been here a while, at least to sit, usually they just pick up a pie for home now and then. Noreen said her family used to stop in when shopping or such.

About then the waitress stops by and gets their drink order and they do a pitcher. There's one more surprise guest on the way and Nick really hopes for the best, as soon as the waitress goes for the pitcher Deej lights up again. Nick turns around to see Vance walking up.

At first Nick just stares then stands up, they shake and Vance leans in for the shoulder tap. 

"Dude you still at a car lot or something?"

"Just made manager."

"Dayamm."

From behind him, "Nick?"

"Hey this is Noreen - Vance from the good ole days."

They shake hands, "Nice to meet you finally."

Vance just nods and smiles and takes his seat. He's looking slick, sun has cleared the complexion, hair tamed down with some mousse, kinda that Garth Brooks thing with the boots, shirt tucked in.

The pitcher arrives, Noreen pours and they all fill up except Vance, he's trying to stay light these days so just half full, respectable.

Nick starts, "So which rock you been hiding under?"

Vance sips his mug, "I've been at three dealers, one up by Danville with the cousins, detailing mostly, word got around, you know, just got back here a couple months ago."

Noreen grins, "Ever do side work?"

"OH man, might be tempting now and then, whatcha got?"

She motions to the west, "Ever heard of McDonnells out a ways?" 

"I've heard the name bounced around, one of the better body shops."

"We do it all, I can have Bart loop you in if you don't mind the drive."

He lights up, "Hey all right, sure, wow Nick where'd you find her?"

Nick shakes his head, "WHY does every one ask me that?"

Naturally the table explodes as the waitress shows up with the order pad. They go with large half veggie half meat, Nick tries to pick up Danni's share but Vance insists on covering half, 

"Least I can do for dealing with this bum."

She pats his shoulder, "Well thanks, at least we have one gentleman among us."

And so it goes. Before long Noreen pipes up, "Have you guys heard about how Nick sealed the deal this year?"

Pretty soon we're picturing her at her desk on a quiet afternoon when British TV interviewer Alan Whicker strolls in and awards her a cassette tape, then her English department head gets into the act.

Deej is fighting for breath and Vance has his head down when the narrative progresses to the lake adventure (edited for TV of course), then how Nick behaves himself when they have to bunker down only to get jarred awake by banging on the door, all to find out the police are picking up a local drunk.

When she gets to Bessie at the fair Vance nearly splits a gut, "Ahh man, to think how many times I've steered clear of that barn over the years!"

The pie arrives and Deej is dabbing her eyes with a spare napkin, "Guys I needed this laugh, lemme tell ya."

They are all flushed and it seems warmer now, it's a cool windy day so, deep breaths help, gulp the water and sip the brew.

The conversation gets to die down as they stuff their gobs, Deej remarks how she's still getting used to skipping grace, part of her new outlook. 

Nick thinks how a word of thankfulness is nice but this is not the time or place to bring it up.

Lombo's kitchen is definitely on a roll tonight, their pie is best enjoyed in-house. He's always fascinated by the old signs and posters, local heroes, ball teams, lodge boosters.

Vance inquires between bites, "So you work at the college?"

"Every day. Take care of the labs and they take care of me."

"You can't get enough of that electronical stuff can ya?"

"It's a disease. And it's in my blood."

"Yeah is your dad still out at that place?"

"You know it, he's over several teams now and might still get me in, but I might do more school, who knows. Hell, he's thinking of getting a degree. OH, and Mom is tempted to finish hers and get into teaching finally, if that ain't scary enough."

"Family business, well except your brother."

"Yeah the milkman's kid. That one is in his second hitch, guess he's good for something."

"Is he sergeant yet?"

"I don't think just yet, going for a specialty tho, it's all the same to me." 

They go on catching up as Noreen moves her chair around the side closer to Deej, who seems to be venting, just as she needs to.

Nick is just about to reach for a drink when Vance looks up, all Nick can feel is two strong arms clamping his jaw and skull.

Vance lights up, "Curt?"

A rich voice from above Nick's head, "At your service. How you feel there Swanson?"

Nick squeaks out, slightly nasal, through clenched teeth,"Uhh a little compressed."

This gets a laugh and he notices Deej keeping a keen eye on the visitor.

The pressure lets up and he sees a hand reach for a firm shake, Stockton pats him on the back and pulls up a chair, he met someone here at the bar and wanted to pay respects before headin' out.

Once again Nick relates his brother's service record to date, Stockton had just completed his Navy tour and had been wondering.

"I may have to stroll out that way and see how they party."

"Good luck with that, tonight is his only night free and he usually calls home and falls asleep."

Stockton just grins, "Damn landlubbers for ya."

On that note he stands up to head out, glad to meet the ladies and gives Deej a non-subtle wink that gets no reaction till he's out of sight when she shakes her head at Noreen, who picks up right away, 

"I can find you much better, dear."

"Hmmm well at least the scenery ain't bad," bumps her eyebrows as she takes a swig of water.

Nick just shakes his head and goes back to Vance, "Hey remember that thing at the Y? What were they thinking?"

So they relive some old glories a while and sooner or later, as if on script, Fred and Mary Cribb float by to check up on his modem-ing, how are the folks doing, and so on. What a cavalcade tonight. He never sees these folks, runs into anyone hardly, Deej comes home and everyone but Art Linkletter shows up.

The Cribbses move on and Nick takes one of his last sips of the pitcher, it's close to 9:30 now and the fateful night at the church never came up. It seems like it needs to come up. Five years, damn.

Keeping it safe, "So you still doing sports?"

"Well just golf these days, you play?"

Nick's eyes get big. "Just on the computer, seems just as frustrating at a fraction of the cost. Dad still has his bag stuffed away in a closet but less and less time to get back into it, doesn't really have a gang anymore."

"Gotcha, well we could get one or both of you in at Chauncey some time, just for laughs, they have sticks to rent even."

"Yeah that could be a deal, pretty sure Tim plays on the base now and then if you can imagine."

"I'm imagining Caddyshack," which opens up the usual can of worms.

The place clears out as it gets closer to 10, the check has been long paid, any beer left is pretty flat, time to mosey. They get a promise from Deej to call Nick's when she gets to Dawsons.

The call comes in after Nick's shower and Ned relays it up the stairs as Noreen takes her turn. The original plan was to shower together, as Nick put it, he would use the downstairs bath and hog all the water. All this got him was, 

"That Danni, where did you find her?"

He just kept driving, and now is propped up on his pillows reading the sheets of folded notebook paper That Deej handed him in the parking lot. He already has jazz on and Noreen pops out of the hallway bath in a long tee with the obligatory towel on her head, to which he quips, 

"I could never pull off that look."

And just keeps reading as she gets comfy.

"Do you need a moment with that?"

"Actually I'd like you to read it when I'm done."

"Not if it's too personal."

"Nope, it's...more like a term paper."

"Ohh, someone's been thinking."

"Yeah probably too much, but her world is upside down."

"We did a great thing tonight and it was a blast, so glad it came together."

Nick reads on and tries to soak it in but after a full night with some beer he'll have to table it for now.

"Here, if you wanna take a gander, I'll have to go through it some tomorrow, had a dull headache all day and ready for sleep."

"Sure," and she starts reading while he heads to brush the teeth, too tired for a late snack even.

Nick returns to find her deeply engaged with the third page. "I'd say she has been thinking, wow...and in the middle of a huge life change."

"Yeah. I'll probably call her tomorrow."

She looks up at him. "Nick you are so sweet to stick by her."

"Well we shared a lot and she's a good kid."

"Did you know that good kid has her blue belt?"

"Doesn't surprise me, she started that a while back and must have stayed with it."

"Wants to go further."

"No doubt."

"No doubt we need some rest, may I join you for a lil jazz kind sir?"

"Hit the light young lady."

She floats to the door and nudges it closed before killing the light and snuggling her head onto his chest. 

Nick is already half asleep. 

She sighs.

He draws a deep breath. He licks her forehead.

“Umm, can we just chill?”

“Sure.”

Only his receiver light is on but she’s far from dozing off. Pretty soon he feels her oscillating to the beat, must be swinging her legs into the air. Pretty soon she draws a breath.

“Hon…” she starts.

“Jaess?”

She draws a deep breath. “I’m starting to think the deal with Doris was somewhat of a...I dunno, the wind is changing.”

Nick pauses. “Ummm…”

She draws another deep breath. “That poor sweet old gal, she kinda became part of our relationship didn’t she.”

“Yeah I suppose so, still trying to process it.”

She pauses. “You know, nomatter what, this has been absolutely the best.”

“Yes it has.”

“We haven’t talked much about our future.”

She draws a really long breath. “A lot is up in the air. I need to ask some questions this week.”

“Yeah.”

“Nick, you know I had a really good talk with Deejay, I think she needs you more than I do.”

Nick’s blood runs cold, because, hell, she’s probably right. 

“But you’re here tonight.”

“And I couldn’t be happier, you know that.”

“I know-”

She slides up to meet her lips to his, plants a two-beater, then asks, “Um, do you need me to do anything?”

“Up to you.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Howbout you?”

She pauses, “Howbout I go talk to your mom for a bit, then see if you’re awake?”

Things are starting to feel like they did back before he graduated, so he gives her back a two-beat smooch, “Deal, partner.”

“Mmm, that’s nice, but I’m gonna bolt for now, ‘kay?”

“’Kay.”

And so she does, and left with his own thoughts, in the jazz, well, damn, is she feeling, like, guilty, or in the way now that Deejay reappeared?

Nick realizes, with a twinge of guilt – or is it shame? He hadn’t really stirred when she was close just now. She looks better than ever and he knows how to pull all her triggers, but then, yeah, since the Doris encounter things have felt a bit strange, and the other evening felt a tad forced even. 

So…shit.

He briefly fights the urge to try and summon her back up here...but for what? What would words or actions mean or achieve?

All of a sudden, either from dozing off from the lively evening and some beer (some of which will need drained before long…) he has the epiphany, clear as a bell, Deej is BACK, and on a similar footing to him, and yes, she needs support, and more and more it feels like he’s the one.

That’s a scary prospect, but then...hasn’t this year been one hell of an adventure? After a quick pee, Nick succumbs to the jazz.

Asstickle

Thursday October 8, 1992

"Didn't your brother get in trouble a lot?"

"Well, kinda, the dummy just doesn't always pick his moments."

Nick is driving an '83 Chevy 1500 pickup out I-70 toward Saint Lou. Shotgun is occupied by Dannielle the Deej with her hair protruding through the back of a pink Cubs hat. Riding the hump is a compact, rather attractive brunette named April, who has been pretty quiet and shy, which has Nick wondering.

The truck is titled to Ralph Eversole, Danni's granddad, who recently had some health challenges serious enough to sideline his participation but heartily offered its use if she could round up some help; that truck needs some miles on it anyway. They are making one last trip back to Astigal to get the last of her stuff, had to be on a weekday so Nick took one for the team with a no-pay, as if he has any real life expenses. Goody said they could use a break from him anyway.

Somehow the subject turned to Tim, and April seemed to tense up when they hit certain subjects.

"Such as?" Deej prods him on.

"Well...you know that thing in SNL with...Jane...Jane Curtain, she's doing the news discussion with...man, I think it's Akyroid."

"You'll have to help me out, I was banned from SNL."

"Of course."

April actually pipes up, "Jane you ignorant SLUT."

"YES!" Nick is all kinds of surprised. "My dumbass - that....Tim, picked that up somewhere, and we were in grade school so who knows, but one day his class gets an assistant from the high school named Jane..."

"He didn't."

"You know he did - the moment they introduced her."

"Your poor mother."

"Yeah she got a phone call pretty soon thereafter."

"What was the penalty?"

"Well he didn't seem to know where or from whom he picked that up - "

"Mister grammar there," another sign April is loosening up.

"Thank you, but yeah, she didn't know how to deal with it except the death penalty, no TV for a full month."

"A WHOLE month?" Deej teases as the girls look at each other.

"His Saturday mornings had to be in his room or outside, and since this was in the middle of winter it really sucked."

"I'm sure you never did anything like that."

"Okay...April?"

She keeps her head still and facing ahead. "Yes?"

"Was that you visiting my church that time, around third grade?"

Her head slowly turns his way with a blank look.

"If it was, I'm totally sorry." He glances at the road, then rear view, no other vehicles for a quarter mile each way, back at an April with eyebrows raised.

Deej breaks in, "What am I missing here?"

"Look..."

"Mmmmm hmmm, " she eggs on as April still expects something.

"I was coming down with a bad cold or flu, missed two days of school."

He glances at a smiling April, slightly more convincing than Mona Lisa.

"SWANSON?"

"I had this pocket of gas."

"God, Nick!" Deej turns toward her window trying to stifle a laugh.

"God had nothing to do with it. Any other time it would have been funny but this poor girl...I'll buy you lunch."

"Thank you, Nick." 

He doesn't turn to her quick enough since she faces Deej and they read each other's minds for a second.

All he can say next is, "Karma, man."

The girls fall over each other laughing.

Not surprisingly, Noreen had wholeheartedly endorsed this trip. He had made his midweek venture to her place and they found it best to just chill out after raiding someone’s fridge for leftovers, then he left after she’d slept through about an hour of reruns.

After the great Archway comes and goes in the distance, Nick can't remember the last time he laid eyes on it, Deej kicks in with the navigation hints, evidently it's up in the marsh lands, nine miles from sin.

"They are so paranoid...obsessed...about morality, that's all you hear about in chapel, the RAs are always checking on us in our rooms and a lot of them quit after a while. Pretty sure the boys are afraid of having it chopped off if they have an impure thought."

"Is it the tiny guillotine on the altar?" Nick can't resist.

April tries to hide a snicker.

Deej just stares forward, grinning, "Now why didn't I think to make one?"

After a gradual descent off the beaten path they arrive at the gates. There's no sentiment to be lost as Deej navigates to the Physical Plant (which sounds kinda suggestive for this place) to check out her remaining belongings that her lunch gang were kind enough to help stow. The biggest piece is a nice futon (gift from the grandparents) which is easy enough to strap over the boxes.

Before long they are at a Denny's right off the interstate.

After ordering, Deej points out with a straight face, "Well we made it this far without saying asstickle."

"Too bad it's not a French tickle."

"APRIL MAY! GOD!" Deej is lit up like the Forth and surprisingly flushed.

"Is that really your full name?"

April just slowly turns his way with a wry grin.

"Thot so," is all he has. "That campus sure seems...quiet. Too quiet."

Deej just stares at the table so he lets it drop.

The girls share a huge plate of fries and Nick, seated across from them, gets some kind of slam with OJ, and picks up the check, as promised.

They step outside, Deej has the keys and lets April in and pulls Nick to the side, and embraces him gently. "Thanks so much, Nick. I always knew you were good for me."

Nick just squeezes her back, this is not a time for words.

She plants a genuine two-beat smooch on his left cheek, which is something since they are the same height unless she's slouching, seems like a tall-girl thing. She pulls back and looks at his face, "Dit-in, doat," which gets a laugh at a very old stupid joke he related one time, she must have been reminiscing.

He starts for the driver's door and gets stopped.

"You're done, doat, I'll get us back."

"Fair enough. Is this going to your grandparents?" Nick heads around back of the rig and realizes he hadn't yet gotten the details.

"Nope...her place."

As he buckles up, yet again the mouse-brown head turns his way with a blank look.

"Hon, I'm starting to wish they made a cartoon about you."

April wryly sticks out her tongue and slowly turns to Deej.

"Just how did you two meet, anyway?"

"In Nam."

"So...April, are you going to the Twig?"

She actually turns his way to answer, still with a wry grin, "I take classes, mostly at night."

"Wow, I even work there now and don't remember seeing you."

"But I've seen YOU," with a more intent expression.

"It's a conspiracy."

This gets him off the griddle, for the moment.

"Should I tell him?"

April looks her way as they're pulling out.

"I thought to call her the other day and catch up, turns out she's been helping out in the office at the family's roofing business -"

"Don't tell me...Dawson's?"

April glances at him.

"Winner winner. This gal is pretty much poised to take over little by little...."

April turns and flashes a crazy grin with Groucho eyebrows, Nick explodes.

"...and evidently I'm enough of a tomboy to be of use here and there. Are you even listing, dork?"

"Hey she's a nice girl, not a dork."

"Hit him."

April playfully swats his leg.

"No, no...girl, I've got to train you better."

"I'm still sore in that spot, Deej."

Deej laughs, "OH, man, you brought it up...."

And from there it goes, back over the river and cross the plains.

Sometime after the Illinois-side burbs fade into farmland, April yawns and leans on Nick's arm. He tries to catch Deej's eye but gets the sense he's being ignored. Oh well.

Eventually they make way to a house with a back building, about one sixth the size (that he can see) of the McDonnell plantation and to the south of the midway point between Jameson and campus.

After unloading Deej runs him back in her car. 

"I'm not sure whether to be surprised that you're pretty much moved in out there."

She doesn't answer right away. "Same here."

"I wish it were easier, hon."

"I know."

"Sometimes space is the best ticket."

"You have it good, Nicky, how do you get along with your folks so well?"

"They pay me. Actually, now that you mention, I guess we got some things out of the way over the years, as you know."

"Yeah, I feel bad for giving in and shunning you after that."

"We were young."

"But you went for it, Nick."

"Yeah that took on a life of its own."

"I'll make it up to you, see if your gal-pal can babysit you this weekend sometime? I have an idea."

"My worlds are colliding."

She turns his way, "Usually I tell someone to put on a bra when they say that."

"Can I meet her?"

She just shakes her head with a sigh and they go on.

Nick reflects upon the day and almost dozes off when she pipes up, "Do you miss your arm-warmer yet?"

He just looks at her warily, "Watch out for potholes through here."

"I hear ya."

The Avon Lady

Sunday October 4, 1992

He hadn't talked to Noreen since briefly Friday night, and she was kinda terse but asked if he could come out Sunday.

They sat outside and she wanted to hear about Deej, except, calling her Danni.

"That worked out well then. I needed some time to process."

"You were kinda busy Friday?"

"Well..." and he could swear she got a tad flushed.

After she takes a couple breaths and tries to find an expression, she does this self-gathering motion with her arms and he blurts out, "you look like Diane on Cheers."

She sighs. "Dumbass. Well she never had to spring this on ol' Sam, lemme tell ya."

"Are you OK?"

"I will be. And it wasn't harmful, just...."

"Blurt it out."

"Wokay...I ended up running home during the long break and found a message from Doris, our Avon lady, known her since high school." She pauses for a breath.

"Intriguing."

She glances up with a beehive's worth of warning.

"Sorry."

"Anyway, Sandy usually pools our orders together and we settle up, you know, and there was a message that my stuff had been delayed and I could pick it up. So I go over to her apartment, just off - where we go over to the library, in that little nook?"

"Ahh." Nick vaguely remembers that route.

"Well, Doris greets me with a big hug, we hadn't seen each other in a while, we catch up for a few moments, and she wants to show me the latest supplement since I usually just get the same thing, for years now, anyway...."

She flushes again.

Nick raises an eyebrow.

"Umm...she starts rubbing my shoulders."

"Okayyyy."

"Yeah. And it was soooo relaxing."

"I should do that more."

"Well....I kinda got lost in it. Nick...it went further than that."

His blood kinda went simultaneously hot and cold. "What do you mean?"

"It..." she tears up, "...it was like a dream, her hands moved around and..." after a few gasps, "before I knew it I was on her bed with my skirt up." She breaks into tears.

"Sweetie -"

"I don't know what this means."

"Um..."

"Yes, she put her mouth down there and I...fell into it and...I finished. BUT it wasn't like us, I swear, it was different."

"It's okay."

She looks at him somewhat more soberly. "If you want to be a dickhead and find this amusing, or even arousing I can excuse it."

"Nah."

"Is it kinda shocking?"

"Yeah."

"Nick I didn't ask for this but then, well - and I'm convinced she's entered some kind of life-changing condition, she's been divorced for years and never remarried, might be a mental… I can't let this happen again, as sweet as it was in some ways, I don't want to fuck...mess up what we have - I'm not making sense."

"Give it time."

"You're right. Just be patient with me?"

"Of course. What's with all the women in my life?"

"When it rains it pours. God it was crazy, I had the sense to not let myself fall asleep there, but still ended up missing some office hours."

"At least you didn't have a class. Oh, Deej hopes we can double or do group stuff, keep her out of trouble."

"Smart gal, I'm sure that can be arranged. Maybe we can scrape up a brother to brainwash into a state of suitable normality."

"Science can only do so much."

Starting with the Montoya accent, "You keep using that phrase...but it remains true. But I need to ask a flavor."

"Yeass?" (trying to imitate Bugs)

Deep breath, "I left my Avon at her apartment during a hasty goodbye while she was trying to excuse her behavior, " she shudders, "can you…go over and pick it up for me? Not sure I want the gals going over there and I still don't know how to handle it with them."

"Eesh, sure, no probs."

------------------------------

After a quick TV lunch Nick arrives at the address scribbled on the corner of notebook paper, along with a twinge of regret that the rest of the sheet must now live on as an amputee.

He knocks the knocker and immediately hears Terri Garr say "Zhank you, Dokhtor!"

After a moment a voice, "Who IS it?" with the musical inflection on the IS.

“I'm Nick, umm, Noreen asked me to pick up her order, she's tied up at the moment.”

The door swings open to a short middle-aged ginger, and before he can take her in, 

"Oh Nick - my, she told me about you and, oh my I'm afraid things got a little out of hand, I don't know what came over me. Please, umm...please dear have a seat over here."

She directs him to a love seat and grabs a small bag, sets it down on the floor then sits on her knees before him. 

"Nick I must, I simply must make this up to you."

"Umm - " His heart is now pounding and he can't remember her name.

She removes her blouse, the kind that his mom grabs off the rack at Kmart to send to a grandma for a summer birthday. "Sweetie, it's only right, will you please remove them."

Nick can't help but stare as she reaches to remove her well-laden brassiere, makes a face reaching for the snaps, "OH would you mind?" as she swivels halfway around.

At this point he has the realization that this situation will just need to play out as it will so he obliges. Her freckled bosoms flop almost down to her waist band.

She then reaches for his belt buckle so he gives in and kinda assists, not having a sense for any kind of etiquette in this situation. He eases just his jeans down and leaves his boxers for fate.

Before he can square himself on the love seat she's digging in his drawers, "let's see here...HEEEERREE we go, ohhh myyy..."

She unsheathes Elvis and the Twins neatly then flops her own goodies onto his legs, then gently eases his semi-curious thing between her soft lips.

Finally his conscience can start to catch up. Ethically, at least by Noreen's logic, this is fair, But also by her estimation, this woman may not be in the best frame of mind, but still, her charisma has undoubtedly served her well in the Avon game, she could probably talk him into several bottles of that Wild Country that his dad likes so much -  present circumstances notwithstanding.

For some reason he asks, "Are you married, Doris?"

She tags in her hand, and she expressively answers, as if chatting over tea, "Nooooo, I'm afraid I've been alone for, for quite some time now, but let's not get into that," as she goes back to her dainty yet effective form of snake charming. Definitely has a knack or experience with this, which he doesn't know what to do with at this point, she's hitting that spot.

"You're really...good."  Is all he can think to say. Again, when in Rome; he gently places hands on the tender rocket-shaped pancakes draped across his thighs.

She just looks up and gives an innocent smile, again, present circumstances notwithstanding.

It had been since the other night and, as much as he wanted to learn more about her, she seemed to sense it was close, 

"You'll have to excuse me, I never could stand the taste, so you just let it happen all over me when you're ready."

This was too much, and it made a rare fountain jump, some in her hair but he really rooted for some syrup on the pancakes. She tapered off gradually as he finished, "there you go, Dear, all better." Then pecked the tip of it. "Let me go get a washcloth."

He remembered Noreen having to resist falling asleep but that would mean missing whatever happens next. He almost re-packs but, he's her guest after all, when in Rome. 

She quickly returns with a damp washcloth, and cleaning up her chest, then she gently tends to his portions and neatly tucks them back into their home.

"There Dear, I hope this makes it better."

He looks her in the face and can't resist cupping her ample bosoms, "Is there any thing I can do for you?"

She demurs, looks down, fumbles for her bra, "Um, Nick can you just help me with this?"

"Sure."

"I know this has been strange, I...I haven't been feeling quite myself lately, I hope I haven't hurt you dear folks."

"You haven't hurt a thing, Doris, this has been....interesting. You're very sweet."

She sighs, "Thank you for saying so, dear if you don't mind I think I need to lie down, yes, I need to rest, this has been quite a..."

"Are you OK?"

"I...I think so, just, I need to rest, it was lovely meeting you, um, Nick?"

"Yes, yes it was...is this the Avon?"

"Yes, check the name on the bag, but it should be hers."

Nick verified the name, and kinda seems like she was expecting someone to show up for it.

"Well take care, I hope...you feel better soon."

She showed him to the door, "Take care, Nick."

He walked out with somewhat weak knees and looked back at her door. Heh, "what knockers."

------------------------

Noreen could tell something was up and met him with an expectant look.

He handed her the bag, "Well, we're even," was all he could muster.

Her eyes went huge and she led him to the sofa as the breeze had picked up outside. "Details, man."

She tried so freaking hard, he could tell, to not laugh, although they both know there was a very potential dark side on the horizon for their mutual benefactor.

At one point he admits, "she's so sweet, in some ways it would be tempting to both go over at once."

"Nick..."

"I know."

Noreen looks down while rubbing her chin with a knuckle as she thinks, "Well, I'll just tell the gals that Doris is not acting herself and we should try to get her checked out."

"Yeah. Kinda....well, your own mom."

She sighs, "yeah."

After a pause, "well we certainly shared something."

Noreen smiles, "that we did, honey, leave it to us? Now you have three girlfriends, slugger." and mock-punches him on the arm.

"Now wait -"

"Nick...you know it's OK, none of us are in a state of commit, if you need more time with Danni just say so."

He makes a light grimace. "I honestly don't know what to do with her, she's starting over and I don't think anyone she knows looks at life the way we do, you know. We were kinda...all talk and tease, never really made out, just that awkward time at a stupid party."

She grins expectantly. 

"Okay, I tried what you think I tried and it went everywhere. It's a wonder we didn't get caught, she found it pretty amusing."

Noreen covers her face, folds over her lap and finally lets herself laugh. "Swing and a miss. And I have GOT to meet this miss."

"Just what I need, call me Swing then. She admitted I should help keep her focused."

"Well you better just do that, Swing, she's my kind of gal or she wouldn't be in your world. So...Swing...I was really your first, for that particular ass-pect?"  She manages an expectant look while mostly fighting the laugh.

He gives her a look to try and squelch the new nickname (no pun intended), "Yeah, it would have been apocalyptic had I managed to do that back in 8th grade, kinda put me in a zone." That sentence just blurted out and he wasn't quite sure what he meant.

Noreen plays with his shirt buttons, seems he prefers the button-up shirts to tees these days as a semi-professional wannabe. "Just thankful you eventually found my zone."

"Do you have anyone else, while we're at it?"

"Just Doris."

"Did you get to see her jugs? But, seriously."

"Nope, shucks, but that's as serious as I can get. Most men are just cardboard cutouts to me, you have something different."

"That little mole on my butt?"

"Your brain you mean?"

"My brain, hell, both my brains are tired. Not even Darling?"

She flips him off, with a sassy street move, "Stride it...an' ride it, sucka. And don't complain, you probably got a better deal than me today."

"Don't..."

She winces, "Sorry, too far....but she's...something, she really did a number on both of us."

"Can't help but wonder -"

"Um, let's, let's not wonder too much."

"Howbout we go get coffee or somewheres else."

"Yeah, howbout I follow you that way?"

"Deal."

Deal is sealed with a two-beat smooch before they head out, but not before Bart flags them down to talk about cars.

---------------------------------

After Noreen gets home and calls, Nick has already showered and still can't believe it. He'll have to come to terms with the temptation to stop in on Doris again, their story began and probably ended within about ten minutes. 

For the first time in years he recalls a shut-in lady that his mom used to help out on weekends, to help with her hair and nails. Donna was waist-down paraplegic, or nearly so, from one of the nervous disorders, maybe MS, and appreciated help bathing and maybe some salon stuff, just some interaction other than TV, the way Irene explained it. The church van had to pick Donna up since it had room for her chair.

One time she thought it best to bring Nick for some kind of character building, he could just watch TV and be another visitor. At one point he was seated on the couch after they started her bath and the door came open. Without thinking he looked and saw Donna sitting there in the tub completely exposed and looking right at him, walnut-brown hair and eyes, well endowed, mid-30s and tragically beautiful in that state. He could hear her talking with the running bath water, then with a couple of evident nudges from his mom the door went shut. 

At that point a fifth-grade Nick found it most comfortable to move to a chair out of sight of that door. Was he in trouble? He didn't mean to see, and Donna looked square at him, what was she thinking?

He tried in vain to watch American Bandstand and it seemed forever until he smelled a curling iron and felt somewhat relieved for some reason.

Somewhat into the next program Irene calls out, "Nick will you help her get to her chair?"

His blood ran cold but he felt redemption, especially after discovering she had on a robe now, she avoided eye contact but grabbed onto his hand and squeezed it with a word of thanks when she got situated.

This moment always felt sacred, and even more so after Donna succumbed to her condition just a few months later. 

At various stages of maturity he would try to avoid thoughts of seeing a grown, wistful, shapely woman in that fragile state, beyond what his scant years couldn't begin to appreciate, in a forbidden space that robbed her ability to realize things that most humans take for granted.

SMACK!

Saturday Oct 3 1992

It's breezy but warm as Nick and Deej sit down beneath a maple that's still green as the perennials that produce what lend their name to Needles Park.

The week had been pretty uneventful until the Wednesday performance, his first time playing music for a crowd was largely an out of body experience but he had enough in the woodshed to bang out the chords and it was a hit. He felt closer to Noreen than in some time and had dinner at her place, and then a few hands of gin rummy on the floor after she put on a Styx album, just sounded good.

Irene had been rather quiet, understandably, but had been playing the piano more. Nick wondered if she were going to find some new students soon. Ned had spent more time in the garage but was overheard consoling her at least once.

"I don't know where to start, Nicky." She's still got the bangs but combed down and the rest of it tied back, still looks good in denim with the high all-stars, light eye makeup and some freckles, classic Deej.

"Are you on semester break?"

"It's a pretty big break...a...hiatus if that's the right word."

"Sounds like you hit a wall."

She looks at him, with a clap, "SPLAT. And are you sure this is OK with your girlfriend?"

"She told me to be there for you, pretty sure she gets it, hon."

With a slight grin, "Do you call all the gals hon? You never called me that before.”

"I think I picked it up from my mom."

"Love her. How are your folks?"

"Well about the same but just got burned by another church, pastor came down with the moral failure."

Nick waits for an answer but hears none. He glances over to see her tearing up, staring blankly ahead. He scoots closer and reaches for her hand. She squeezes gently and sobs harder for a moment.

"This fucking sucks." Her frankness is not new, but that confident, chiseled poise had until now seemed unbreakable; he can’t imagine a time where she’d let her firewall down.

Nick fumbles for the next question, and settles on, "was it...like, grades?"

Her head sways back and forth, "No..." gasps some more, "...not...well, it would have been."

Nick gives her more time to collect, not knowing what else to say, then she continues.

"That time you made those phone tapes of that phony...anti-rock type?"

"Um...yeah?"

"I think I get it now."

"Oh."

After a deep breath, she goes on, "There comes these moments when we have to...ask...find out..."

"Yeah..." he interjects with a glimmer of understanding.

"I...I had it all planned out in my head, get the damn degree, work for the greater good somewhere in the church...system, I guess, maybe get married, hell."

"At least you had a plan -"

"Pssh."

"Well -"

"Nicky....", she squeezes his hand and turns to grin, "HON...sometimes a plan is just a setup...<sigh>...here I am a junior and literally...literally threw darts to pick a major, when classes started it just, well...felt like...my hands and feet were in mud."

"Yowzer."

She looks at him, "Nick I didn't make any real connections all these years, I knew you'd understand after all that shit you pulled."

"Well the shit has a way of dumping back on us."

Deej faces out to the river again. "So I come home and my parents think I need counseling."

"Do you?"

She sighs and shakes her head, "I need time. They just want me to talk to their pastor that I've never met."

"Ouch." Stumped again, he lets that float.

She rubs her forehead. A few more sighs later, "I wish I could have my own place or move out, get a job, probably transfer to the twig."

"Noreen might be able to find you a roomie around campus there, she teaches English. Seems the library is always hiring."

She turns and smiles, "Thanks, Nicky." She leans in and they share a mutual cheek peck.

"Actually if, well, it gets...urgent, Tim's old room is still there."

"Has it been, like, decontaminated?" and manages to laugh in the tears.

"Hon, science can only do so much."

She leans on him. "Nick...at the moment I'm not much of a threat but, not sure I ever said this, back then, well, before going to sleep I used to jam out, if you know what I mean."

"I think Grace Slick sang about that once?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

After a pause, she continues, "I don't want to crash your life, I'm just glad to share it some, you're the only one who understands what I'm going through."

"There seems to be a lot of that going around these days."

"Well, what exactly?"

He pauses. "Things aren't what they're supposed to be."

"What about you, is it going to plan?"

"Plan was to get the degree, that went well and they offered me the in-house lackey job, it was either that or Rad Shack until Dad could get me in, been kinda slow."

"Didn't you work for that Emmett dude?"

"Everett - that's a story for another episode, or coffee."

"Hey, maybe sometime we can double date, just to talk and laugh. I pretty much kept to myself out at asstickle -"

Nick explodes with laughter.

"What? Oh you think you INVENTED that?"

He's rolling in the grass, and eventually blurts out, "this is worth getting chiggers!"

"I certainly hope you do." She reaches out for his hand,  "Here, get your pansy ass back over here before I get excited."

"Yeah right. How come girls never admitted this stuff back then?"

She throws him that Mona Lisa stonewall that haunted his conscience all those wonderful years.

"OH....yeah."

"I hear ya, just know, I am vulnerable right now, it feels risky enough meeting in public."

"You'll be fine, just don't do anything stupid."

"That's just it, I need you to watch out for me."

"If you can make it out toward campus you can join the lunch crowd."

"Sounds fun...so do you teach?"

"Not so much, not yet, if I do, right now I just tech. Take care of the lab equipment."

"I'll bet you do - SORRY, my mouth, see you make me feel better and I get this way."

"Just park in a visitors lot, maybe call my desk first, the gang is pretty much these washed-up academics bantering on and on. Somehow it never gets old." 

"I'm sure you fit right in." She pauses a second. "Would it be OK if I call your mom sometime?"

"I think that would do you both some good." He looks over to find her wilted. "In fact, come on over."

Those pale blue eyes are relieved and startled. "Are you sure?"

"You'll be a hit. Mom always makes or orders more for leftovers."

She follows him over in her gold mid-80s Grand Am that's seen better days but still rolling. This does her well and she sticks around till Tim calls.

It's still nice out so they sit for a while on the 'Doba. 

"Do you still have a guitar to headbang with?"

"Heh, the other day Noreen and I did a Led Zep number at the school for a stupid, well kinda talent show, not that I claim any talent."

"And you were a jackass and didn't invite me? Who sang?"

"I think the activities folks were taping it. I strummed chords, my arms felt like noodles, she sang and played bass."

"Swanson your arms ARE noodles. But I would love an encore, was it that Whole Lotta Love you used to sing to me?"

"Nahh it's a, I think a b-side, Hey Hey What Can Ya Do?"

"Story of my life."

"If there's one thing I've learned this year, anything's possible."

"On that note, let's see if it's possible to get to my room without interaction at this time of night."

Before she heads out they embrace tactfully and she promises to call when she gets to the house.

Nick falls asleep with her voice echoing in his head, afraid to admit how much he’s missed it.

The Cloud

 March 1981

"Well today we learn about Ahab and Jezebel..." starts Mrs. Alberta King, legendary Sunday School artist-in-residence, at a table shared with a motley assortment of four third-graders, separated by a wheeled chalkboard from the fourth-graders.

Nick thinks of the Ray Stevens classic Ahab the A-rab but doesn't bite, he'd already gone down that road with his mom and got lectured in the car, although Ned had even chimed in before she got upset. Across the table sits the reserved and shy visiting granddaughter of some regulars, the fair brown-haired April, who keeps her eyes on the teacher as much as possible. Not surprisingly, to her right gleams the equally un-shy Juan Marin who had already introduced himself to their visitor. In response, April blushed while still staring at the teacher, who had already made the expected observation, "it's almost your month, dear!"

Rounding out the group is another regular, Steve Guy, tall, lanky, big ears and sometimes brought his latest completed model car or airplane in to show off; a respectable hobby Nick could never remember to pick up among his usual preoccupations.

Today our hero settles into the usual routine of staring at the wall, and then the table, thankfully Betty's not one of those who craves eye contact to imply attention. The adults call their teacher Betty but this is a gray area for kids so Nick always avoided addressing her. 

He's not feeling the best, felt little swirls of chills ever since he got up and wanted to go back to bed more than usual this morning. While staring blindly between the coeds across the table he subconsciously wonders if April's concentration is deliberate or a shyness thing, when something stirred deep within, alas, something wanted out the back door.

This is an unusual dilemma in such a situation, hopefully just gas and nothing more, this is no time for theatrics, just...easy...easy...it floats on out and he nods down to sample the wares for good measure, should be nothing more than breakfast making its rounds.

The next breath proves otherwise. This is not good. Another breath. 

Have mercy.

His chills start to mingle with a bit of heat in the chest and ears. 

Just to gauge the room a little he casually glances back up at the same wall. April's face is slightly red again.

The aroma has gotten stronger after mixing with air, with a disturbing edge, a smoldering tire fire at the upwind side of town as the breeze picks up. After Nick takes a couple more disparaging breaths Betty pauses, then interjects,

"Does anyone need to use the restroom?"

After another pregnant pause, Jose pipes up, "I think someone already did, geez louise."

"Before I continue, does anyone have a...situation?"

April's face is deepening in hue, eyes are concerned, maybe fearful? Yet unwavering.

Jose, who shows up because he wants to and always by himself, "Mizz King we need to pray for whoever crapped 'em."

Nick can only put his forehead on the table and give in to laughter, he can hear Steve start to chuckle, and showing a new side, quickly throws in, 

"C'mon Nick did you do that?"

Without thinking, he blurts out "Well it sure ain't the new girl."

Betty steps in, probably a tad fazed at where this has gone, "BOYS! Is this any way to treat a visitor? Alright, if we can continue on..."

Like a pro, within a couple sentences she resumes the same cadence as the chuckles fade. Nick gets courage to glance up to survey April's face, nearly back to a normal tone but with an expression that echoes how badly they all just want to get out of here. Otherwise, he keeps his head down through the closing prayer.

In the service, just before the offering gets passed Nick spikes a fever and so they go home early, he spends the next two days home from school reflecting on it all and never brings it up. 

In coming weeks, after the high alert of the Hinkley shootings dies off a bit, he realizes that poor April's grandparents hadn't been around much ever since that fateful morning.